Novel – Page 8 – Teel McClanahan

I don’t write every day

I am not one of those writers who writes all the time. I am certainly not one of those writers who swears by writing every day. Something, every day, no matter what. Not for me. (Though I have calculated that if I did, I could come out with something in the neighborhood of 10 to 20 new books a year, every year.) Looking back, I haven’t written any new fiction (or produced any actual pages of the two non-fiction books I have in mind) since NaNoWriMo ended November 30th, 2009. Four and a half months now, I guess, without writing a word.

Some writers include everything – from my thousand-word blog posts down to my 140-character (or less) Tweets, and grocery lists besides, but that always seemed disingenuous to me. Until I take the time to put together a book or two from my blog posts (that pot is still boiling away at the back of my mind, believe me), writing blog posts isn’t the sort of writing that I consider Writing. Using Twitter more mostly improves my ability to use Twitter more. Most of the time the write-every-day writers seem to be doing so in the hopes that it is like playing an instrument & they just need daily practice to get better and better. Which is an interesting idea. Have fun with that.

I just choose to think every day, instead. A lot of the day, every day. Thinking.

One of the things I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is my audiobooks. The audio version of Forget What You Can’t Remember was completed this week, both on my feed and on Podiobooks.com. I began podcasting the audio version of UTFBF-RoaAP, Book One on my own feed yesterday (it goes live at Podiobooks.com April 27th). Book One will be 10 episodes, after that I’ll start Book Two, then probably Book Three – each of them about 10 episodes, since the books are all about the same length… And then, in about 30 weeks, I’ll be out of novels to podcast. According to the Google Calendar, where I just mapped out those 30 episodes to Fridays, I’ll run out in mid-November.

So one of the things I’ve been thinking about is that, between now and then, I’d better write something new. Maybe the Self-Publishing book I’ve been thinking about writing will be podcast-able, but in addition to that I’d better write some new fiction. There’s a good chance that, reading UTFBF over and over again for the next six months will get me to a place where I can write Book Four (and maybe continue from there with the series). And I realize that since I can certainly write a book in a month (and have produced various first drafts in: 3 weeks, 2 weeks, and even 3 days, once upon a time) that six months is plenty of time, but … I also know that for me, a big part of writing is thinking and I’d better get to thinking. Thinking I’m going to write more books.

One of the other things I’ve been thinking, along these lines, is maybe I’ll not do that cards/book thing I was thinking about. I dunno. Thinking about the packaging/marketing/sales side of it has been making me queasy. Writing the book is one thing, painting/creating the cards is another, each difficult in its own way, but then … I can’t just set it up with Lightning Source and know that anyone can walk into a book store and order it, or get it on Amazon/etc.. I can’t have it set up for Wholesale/POD at all, really, since I need the cards to be packaged with the book – I’ll have to order a huge amount of books, order the same number of decks of cards, package them together all by hand, and then … frankly, sell them by hand. Which … I, ugh… I mean, in person sales at Art Walks and Art Fairs and even via social media is all fine, but … going to stores and trying to get them to carry my product, dealing with consignment and/or other even-more-bizarre methods everyone apparently uses for accounting for business transactions… the thought of it makes me sick. I really like the idea of the product, but dealing with getting it to market makes me feel like shit.

Which has a lot to do with why I haven’t moved forward with the research and/or the art for that project. At all. bleh. (Overwhelming depression is also a factor, but one that I’m at least able to grind some productivity from.)

I’ve got to go get ready for an Art Fair today. Maybe I’ll get a chance to think more, in between customers.

Contest: What’s FWYCR book about?

“What’s the book about?” – It’s the question everyone asks, and they want a quick and easy answer. People who think like marketers want it in the form of an “elevator pitch” and people who browse in book stores want my book covers to fit neatly into the patterns they expect – but everyone wants a fast, easy way to make a snap decision about the book.

The problem I have with this is that if I could have expressed what I wanted to express in a hundred words or less, it wouldn’t have been a book, it would have been a business card!

So, I’m having a contest:
Tell me what my book is about, and you could win a prize. As Forget What You Can’t Remember draws near to its final podcast episode and people all over the world hear its convoluted conclusion, I thought the time was right to ask readers and listeners this oft-repeated and oh-so-important question. But what are the prizes?

One (1) First Prize: I’ll name a character after you in my next novel & let you decide whether that character lives or dies, plus send you a signed paperback copy of one of my books (your choice).
Two (2) Second Prizes: I’ll send you a signed paperback copy of one of my books (your choice).

How to enter:
Email your answer to the question “What is Forget What You Can’t Remember about?” to teel@modernevil.com. The deadline for entry is May 1st, 2009, two weeks after the final chapter goes live at Podiobooks.com.

Void where prohibited. No purchase necessary: You can read the eBook or listen to the podcast for free. Officially open to US Residents only – but only because I don’t want to deal with shipping books internationally. You can still enter from anywhere & if you win I’ll still name a character after you… and… I don’t know, maybe look up international shipping rates & customs paperwork? Winners will be selected by whatever method I want – probably I’ll just pick the answers I think are best, but I’m not ruling out asking people on Twitter or some such. By submitting an entry you are granting me an unlimited, nonexclusive right to use your entry and any derivations thereof for any purpose, including commercial – ie: the point of having a better answer to this question is to be able to get more people to read and/or buy my book, so I need the right to use the best answers to that end. I will be running a very similar contest for both Lost and Not Found and Dragons’ Truth in May, in case you want to go read and/or listen to those books & prepare your answer in advance.

ForgetWYCR is Not a ‘Zombie Book’

Originally posted at modernevil.com:

Forget What You Can’t Remember is a book that has zombies in it, but it is not a zombie book. It is not a horror book. It is not a science fiction or a fantasy book, either, despite the existence of a flying city, robots, and elves in the world where it takes place. It is not an action book — in fact, it may be the antithesis of an action book, when you step back and look at the whole experience. What is Forget What You Can’t Remember, if it is not these things?

It is a novel about people. Some of the people in the novel encounter zombies and, in fact, survive a full-scale zombie outbreak in a major US city. Some of the people in the novel, after becoming rescued rescuers, find there are gaps in their memories; whole swaths of their lives and their histories that are entirely lost. Suddenly given limitless possibilities for the future and robbed of their pasts, each charater reacts -and interacts- in different ways. Some follow their dreams, some try to continue living in the past they’ve had to leave behind, and at least one loses his grip on sanity.

The bulk of the story is told, not through description of actions, settings, and characters, but through the dialogue those characters have about the settings they find themselves in and the actions and events they’re experiencing and planning. This is simultaenously so intimate that a reader can lose track of the boundaries between characters and so distancing that it can give the impression that you are only experiencing the story second-hand. That feeling of being both present and distant at once mirrors the way more than one of the main characters’ minds reacts in the wake of tragic, traumatic events. In the scene in chapter 17 which inspired the cover image, two characters discuss this experience which could probably be diagnosed as depersonalization disorder:

“Huh.” Paul couldn’t identify personally or exactly with Brady’s experiences, but somehow understood him, in a way. “Are you experiencing this disassociation from reality right now?”
“No, I,” Brady paused to consider whether what he was saying was true. He stopped walking, and stood in the street for a moment looking down at his body and back up to the world around him. He held his right hand up in front of his face, staring intently at it. “I’m trying to decide if it feels like I’m staring at my own hand or if I’m watching me stare at my own hand.” Paul was now also staring intently at Brady’s hand, trying to more consciously notice his own awareness of perception. “Though just being present enough to be able to think about the difference is probably both a sign that I’m not experiencing it, and what truly surreal experiences even its memory allows me now to have.”
“Truly.” Paul was now staring at his own hand and contemplating the separation between perception and awareness as though for the first time. “Consciousness itself is clearly not mere eyes and ears and instincts, but the thought of being able to be conscious of one’s own consciousness is a sort of Klein bottle with no boundary, zero volume, and which despite seeming to be immersed in the visible world always keeps some critical part in a higher plane of being, beyond our grasp.”
Brady now took his turn to stare at Paul, though more like an examination of another’s sanity than one’s own perceptions. Brady stood there, staring at Paul staring at his own hand, apparently deep in thought, then spoke. “I have no idea what you just said.”

Then, when the narrative takes a dramatic turn toward long description and to action, the character experiencing and initiating the action is turned increasingly away from it by his own apparent memory loss and the philosophical line of thought it takes him down. A strange and difficult twist near the end of the book then seems to erase all evidence of his action -of everything described in detail rather than in dialogue- from the book, leaving nothing behind but the second-hand and the distant. The reader, if they realize this post-modern slight of hand at all, is left in the same situation as the characters; what you thought happened hasn’t, and what has happened is at least out of arm’s reach.

In trying to create this meta-experience paralleling that of the characters, the book loses the ability to easily serve the expectations of mainstream readers. It loses the ability to meet the expectations of readers looking for a traditional zombie book. It loses the ability to serve those looking for it to fit neatly into a genre slot, any genre at all. Instead, it serves the mind. It encourages thought. It attempts not just to describe a thing, but to deliver it into the reader’s consciousness. Forget What You Can’t Remember is not a book for everyone, and it may not be what you expect, but it may be the only book you read this year that is what it says.

Free copy of FWYCR paperback!

I’m giving away 5 copies of my new novel, Forget What You Can’t Remember, through Goodreads‘ First Reads program. “How can I be the lucky recipient of one of these free books,” you ask? It’s easy:

1) Sign up for a Goodreads account.

1b) Actually use your account; put in books you’ve read, are currently reading, want to read, write reviews, and otherwise participate!

2) Go here and click ‘Enter to win’.

No, really, it’s that easy to enter. Then, at the end of the month (ie: January 31st, 2009) Goodreads will work its mojo and semi-randomly select 5 people to receive free books. ((They have an algorithm and everything: “Goodreads will collect interest in the book, and select winners at our discretion. Our algorithm uses member data to match interested members with each book.”)) Then I’ll ship out the books personally to the winners, and they’ll bask in the wordy-goodness that is the new book.

For those of you who either a) don’t win, or b) don’t like paper books, but still don’t feel like paying: Please feel free to enjoy the free serialized audio version of the novel, either by signing up for the Modern Evil Podcast or by going to Podiobooks.com and signing up for either the default feed (which gives you episodes as I post them) or a custom feed (and get episodes on your own schedule). The free eBook version should be available in February, 2009, as well. Enjoy!

Things moving forward, the standard rollercoaster

Things are moving forward. Both of my new books, the novel Forget What You Can’t Remember and its companion book of short stories, More Lost Memories are well on their way to being broadly available. The audio version of Forget What You Can’t Remember has begun appearing online, in the Modern Evil Podcast and at Podiobooks.com, just after the first of the year. Recording has been going forward reasonably well, considering my still-lingering headcold, and I’m much less stressed out about keeping up than I was with Lost and Not Found. I’ve been doing a bit of painting again (here’s a bit of a preview) and I had a good sales night at the Art Walk this month (and paid for a space through all of 2009), selling out of my mini paintings. Have to make some more, soon.

I can’t nail down specific dates (which is part of why I don’t bother trying to do things like build buzz or drum up pre-orders), but the two new books were sent to Lightning Source (who does my printing and distribution) on 12/26/08, approved and made available for printing on 1/5/09, and will probably be available to order through booksellers everywhere in the next week or two (incl. everything from Amazon.com and bn.com to your local Borders & your local independent bookseller). I’ve got to fiddle about with converting FWYCR to an eBook – I haven’t done it in over half a year, and it was basically a one-time ordeal that lasted weeks… I may ask for help around the internets this time. If I remember correctly, the kindle version -ie: the only one that pays- is the hardest to get anywhere close to right. I’m aiming to have the eBook version up by the end of January, so I’m to stressing about it.

In more personal news (yes, yes, I know, if I were a proper blogger I’d make multiple posts…) my emotional instability is moving forward as well, along the infinite rollercoaster track that’s normal for me. I noticed a week or so ago for the first time some evidence that I’ve already been experiencing what experts call “major depression” for not less than a month prior to Christmas. Up, down, up, down, luckily on a much longer wavelength than “real” bipolars, going through the down part for months at a stretch, then usually a slow ramp up through “okay” and a couple of days (up to weeks, occasionally) of hard-burning “manic” that crash out just as hard. Funny thing, right now I can’t remember (for sure) when my last ‘up’ was. I remember NaNoWriMo being … less than easy, so probably not then. I know the writing of Forget What You Can’t Remember taking 6 months or more, so I certainly wasn’t on a burn for it. I ground that thing out by working hard on it, day after day, week after week, month after month.

Anyway, I’m not doing great. Personal hygene isn’t being kept up. Household chores being neglected. Productivity is fairly low, along with inspiration. Appetite is way off. Sleep schedule is wacky. I’ve gotten sick several times in the last couple of months, and it’s been lingering these last weeks – my immune system is weak, I guess. Headaches. Mood swings. Feeling bad in new and different and old and familar ways, sometimes in series, sometimes overlapping. bleh.

But I know it’s part of what’s normal for me. What I’ve chosen. It occurred to me today I ought to start another poetry journal, see if any of this wants to be put down. Probably ought to have started it a couple of months ago. meh. I’ll get through. It’s part of moving forward. There’ll be another peak, another plateau. There’ll be another drop, too. Keep moving forward. Being down, right now, is part of that.