Things are moving forward. Both of my new books, the novel Forget What You Can’t Remember and its companion book of short stories, More Lost Memories are well on their way to being broadly available. The audio version of Forget What You Can’t Remember has begun appearing online, in the Modern Evil Podcast and at Podiobooks.com, just after the first of the year. Recording has been going forward reasonably well, considering my still-lingering headcold, and I’m much less stressed out about keeping up than I was with Lost and Not Found. I’ve been doing a bit of painting again (here’s a bit of a preview) and I had a good sales night at the Art Walk this month (and paid for a space through all of 2009), selling out of my mini paintings. Have to make some more, soon.
I can’t nail down specific dates (which is part of why I don’t bother trying to do things like build buzz or drum up pre-orders), but the two new books were sent to Lightning Source (who does my printing and distribution) on 12/26/08, approved and made available for printing on 1/5/09, and will probably be available to order through booksellers everywhere in the next week or two (incl. everything from Amazon.com and bn.com to your local Borders & your local independent bookseller). I’ve got to fiddle about with converting FWYCR to an eBook – I haven’t done it in over half a year, and it was basically a one-time ordeal that lasted weeks… I may ask for help around the internets this time. If I remember correctly, the kindle version -ie: the only one that pays- is the hardest to get anywhere close to right. I’m aiming to have the eBook version up by the end of January, so I’m to stressing about it.
In more personal news (yes, yes, I know, if I were a proper blogger I’d make multiple posts…) my emotional instability is moving forward as well, along the infinite rollercoaster track that’s normal for me. I noticed a week or so ago for the first time some evidence that I’ve already been experiencing what experts call “major depression” for not less than a month prior to Christmas. Up, down, up, down, luckily on a much longer wavelength than “real” bipolars, going through the down part for months at a stretch, then usually a slow ramp up through “okay” and a couple of days (up to weeks, occasionally) of hard-burning “manic” that crash out just as hard. Funny thing, right now I can’t remember (for sure) when my last ‘up’ was. I remember NaNoWriMo being … less than easy, so probably not then. I know the writing of Forget What You Can’t Remember taking 6 months or more, so I certainly wasn’t on a burn for it. I ground that thing out by working hard on it, day after day, week after week, month after month.
Anyway, I’m not doing great. Personal hygene isn’t being kept up. Household chores being neglected. Productivity is fairly low, along with inspiration. Appetite is way off. Sleep schedule is wacky. I’ve gotten sick several times in the last couple of months, and it’s been lingering these last weeks – my immune system is weak, I guess. Headaches. Mood swings. Feeling bad in new and different and old and familar ways, sometimes in series, sometimes overlapping. bleh.
But I know it’s part of what’s normal for me. What I’ve chosen. It occurred to me today I ought to start another poetry journal, see if any of this wants to be put down. Probably ought to have started it a couple of months ago. meh. I’ll get through. It’s part of moving forward. There’ll be another peak, another plateau. There’ll be another drop, too. Keep moving forward. Being down, right now, is part of that.