The sound of one hand typing

Sometimes I feel like everything I’m typing here is like a verbose form of whining. Usually not while I’m writing it, because then it’s my trying to get out the ideas that are in me. Maybe what’s in me is whiny. Maybe I’m just being self-critical to too high a degree. Maybe I’m whining about myself right now. How would I know? I can’t listen to the tone to see if it is coming through audibly, and I seem to have lost the people who cared enough to comment. Either because everything I’m saying makes sense or because I’m so awful I’ve driven them away. Or maybe I’m being too self-centered in all of this, and there aren’t comments for some other rational reason, like people have lives of their own.

Maybe the benefit of extra sleep is an active mind. I have written more things today than any recent day. I do not know if it is because my mind is sharp from getting plenty of sleep, or if it is just a confluence of events that has swum across the surface of my mind. I want to get this in today, so I’ll post it now. I’m not sure if I have something else to say.

International Postage

So I sent the first CD to Spain yesterday. There probably won’t be very many of them. I didn’t even include a note or a message or a memo or a sticky note or a letter with this one. I’m not sure whether I’ll send anything other than the CDs on their own and then not anything after that. I think that that seems like what I’m supposed to do: complete the task I said I would and try not to prolong the increasingly futile attempts at maintaining a connection that she doesn’t want. That is not what it feels like I should do, but sometimes feelings cause problems for the people who aren’t feeling them.

The best laid planns of crazy men…

I was planning on stopping by Safeway on the way home from work and picking up a couple of items I forgot when I was there the other day – sliced meat & toilet tank tablets – and then swing by the Walgreens that has my developed film from last week (when we dropped it off, Iain really wanted to know what sorts of pictures I was taking that required 7 days to process… I wouldn’t tell him), and then go home. This excursion would have taken an extra 1/2hr at the most, and would have allowed me to eat more than one kind of sambwich for a few more days, and (if the price was right) would have given me more film for my iZone camera. I sure do like tiny little pictures, and I want to take some at the party.

Instead, I must hurry straight home so that I can wait for the Roto-Rooter guy to show up and take care of a problem with our disposal that has been the same problem for over 6 months. But, Iain noticed it recently, so it had to get taken care of right away. So, he got on our landlord about it, who scheduled Roto-Rooter to come out tonight, between 5 and 7. I don’t even get off work until 5, and it’s no less than 25 minutes to get home on my bike. Longer if my back tire goes flat again. So, I’m thinking of going out later to pick stuff up. I’ve already cancelled my sleep early plans for tonight anyway, so I think I’ll just make an extra trip. The exercize will probably do me good. Make up for the meat on the sambwich I’ll surely have while waiting for Roto-Rooter-guy.

Reaching Zero Balance

It is unfortunate that I will not reach a Zero balance between all my accounts for over a year (possibly two years; I haven’t finished the calculations). I am doing my best to cut down my spending overall to be less than what I earn, but I’ve already done such a good job spending money I don’t have yet that it’s a wonder I spend anything at all these days. I just can’t seem to let myself stop having a good time just because I’m in debt. I’m paying off my debt at a VERY reasonable rate. All my accounts are kept current and as a matter of habit I pay no less than twice the minimum payment on any card, though I pay as much as my income will allow on the card with the highest itnerest rate.

After this move, I will not be putting anything new on any of my cards. Because I have a roommate who doesn’t ever pay rent, I’ve had to put a few of my expenses on credit this month, but as soon as he pays me, those monies will go directly to preventing interest charges from applying. The really important thing for me right now has been making sure that I’m scraping by and not springing a leak. I guess I discovered that through creative financing, I could go about 5 months without payments from one roommate (that is how far he was behind at the beginning of the month) before I am no longer able to manage paying all the bills comfortably. Which says a lot for my financial savvy, considering I didn’t balance any of my accounts for most of the last year. Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting a little more breathing room after I’m able to know what my bills will be instead of guessing all the time about whether I’ll be paying for one or for two.

That Sleep thing you do

So I’m thinking that in light of the upcoming party and moving tragedies, I will probably not be able to effectively begin the new sleeping schedule I want until after I move. Last night I slept from about 6 to a little before 10, then went and did strength training (for the first time in over 6 weeks), and when I got home I was so sore/tired that I found myself unable to be very productive. I ate supper and watched some TV I like to watch, and did some ironing while watching a weird independent movie, but I ran out of television to watch & decided to finish the ironing today. I also tried sweeping the kitchen, with the aspiration of mopping it as well, but found that my arms were too sore to even sweep effectively. So, a little after 3, I went back to bed and got a couple more hours of sleep.

I always feel that if I can function normally on 4 or 5 hours of sleep, that getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep should offer some additional benefit over the mere 4 or 5 hours that I normally get. I also feel like all the extra sleep I get on the weekends (I seem to sleep till 12:45 or so on Sundays, which on a recent weekend still meant only 5 hours of sleep) should have some positive effect, but I’m always tired again at 9 at night, which seems WAY too early to me.

Still, I’ve been programming myself to run on about 5 hours of sleep, and I’m hoping before too long to be able to implement that period when I get home from work instead of later. Maybe make use of the night a little more effectively.

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