So, I’ve just spent the last … looks like two hours … signing up at and filling out the long, long questionnaire at eHarmony.com. Of course, since they won’t even let you respond to someone unless you buy a membership ($50 for one month, sliding scale to $250/year), it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to take advantage of their “miraculous” matching system until I have some “spare” money to do it with. Based on the questions they ask just to get you set up, it looks like they have a lot of data to work from, and may actually be able to find good matches for most people. Actually, because of what some of their questions allowed (for instance: I am able to say I am strongly liberal and strongly conservative at the same time), they might even be able to do something for me, should I be able to come up with the money.
Of course, I did say that the region to search in was “The Entire World” instead of a smaller, more rational area. With my luck, it’ll match me to someone literally on the other side of the world; somewhere out in the phillipines, I guess. As of right now, it actually says there are “No Matches”, but that it’ll notify me by email if it finds anything. We’ll see. You know, if I can find 250 “spare” dollars.
THe following is some information about me, from the automatically generated ‘personality profile’:
You have a basic need to be supportive of others. You will agree with others, sometimes even if it’s not what you really want.
You tend to be loyal to others. Your loyalty shows in a variety of ways including your “staying power” with relationships and activities.
You tend to be a traditionalist, and will enjoy the social environment best if it is stable and predictable. You dislike sudden decisions about where to go or what to do, preferring to think things out first.
You are a good friend and are always willing to help those you consider to be your friends. You also show strong ties, and will be uncomfortable when separated from your friends for an extended period.
You tend to dislike sudden or abrupt changes. You prefer things the way they are. Your motto might be: “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.”
You prefer a warm, friendly environment free of conflict and hostility. In that environment, you prefer reassurance of your involvement and self-worth.
Others may perceive you as being undemonstrative and self-controlled. Not wanting to be the center of attention, you generally support others.
Because of your lenient and complacent nature, others with fewer scruples may take advantage of you. You could, perhaps, benefit from greater assertiveness.
You show self-control in most things you do; you are not an extremist. Others may see you as stable, mature and steadfast.
You may demonstrate positive possessiveness by developing strong attachments; however, you will not be overly involved as some others tend to do.
I’m with them so far; anyone out there disagree?
Here’s what they have to say about my communication:
Others will notice that you are a sincere person about what you say and do. This trait, along with the excellent listening skills, creates an individual whom most people find pleasant to be with and a calming type of person.
You may be less talkative than some others, but people will generally know how you are feeling by observing many nonverbal cues.
In your group, you may support the group leader rather than vie for a leadership position yourself. As a result, the group leader will usually appreciate the support you bring.
You tend to be a good listener. Others may seek you out to share a thought or concern because of your empathic listening style.
In communicating with others, you may support the mainstream ideas rather than new trailblazing activities. You may prefer the stable and traditional activities.
You have a communications style which many people are comfortable with almost immediately. You are sincere, a good listener, not pushy and overall a comfortable person to be near.
You tend to internalize conflict. As a result, if something about another is bothering you, you may bottle-up feelings and keep them inside.
You are somewhat reserved in meeting new people. As a result, you could benefit from more assertive people doing the appropriate introductions to new people.
I’m still with them on these; they’re pretty accurate. Again, anyone disagree?
Here are some “strengths and/or personal characteristics” they say I bring to relationships:
You are excellent at listening to the concerns and ideas of others.
You generally take pride in being a strong community member.
You are good at helping others people reach their goals.
You are generally very patient with people.
You tend to have very high values.
You tend to be the “Anchor of Reality” in highly emotional situations.
You are very sincere in actions and words.
You take pride in being very loyal to friends and family.
You are skilled at being diplomatic with people in all settings.
You are skilled at finding practical solutions to complicated situations.
You are very supportive of other people.
You tend to be an objective, careful evaluator of situations.
Okay, still looks good. Maybe I answered those questions right, after all.
Okay, okay, this is good; a list of things I may want:
Activities that may involve friends.
Identification with your social group.
Excitement and variety of activities.
Exposure and recognition by those who really appreciate your results and achievements.
Freedom from many rules and regulations and the ability to write your own rules.
Sincerity offered from others.
A feeling of security.
Clear responsibility and clear lines of who makes decisions.
An environment relatively free of conflict.
No sudden or abrupt changes in the situation.
Dang, if they didn’t hit the nail on the head. Those are all things I want.
Anyway, looking at my profile, the one people will see if matched with me, there are a few questions I’m having trouble answering. Can you help? :
What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
What is the ONE thing that people DON’T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
And I’ve only got three answers for What are five things that you “can’t live without?”…
You people read this blog, some of you know me well, any help you can give would be appreciated. Oh, and if you’re single, go sign up. It’s much more thorough than most of those internet personality profiles I’ve found, and pretty accurate, it seems. I know most of my friends are married by now, but if you’re not, this site may be able to help.
Okay, now I’m going to try to go back to sleep. (I went to bed around 8:15PM and then inexplicably awoke at a little after midnight. Now for sleep, attempt 2.)