Not feeling great, posting anyway

Not well… I’ve already slept three hours this evening, and I feel like I need to go straight to sleep again after I finish writing this… though I’ll probably write at least a couple of pages to Laura before I pass out. I’m so tired… and I think I’m getting sick. Got the runny nose and the sore throat and chills and … the opposite of chills… but not in flashes, so … I guess I don’t know the word for feeling like it’s too warm in a 70 degree room.

Anyway, yeah. Had a birthday Sunday, now I’m 25. Had a great dinner at the Casino in Payson, compliments of Debbie. Went down to Phoenix Monday evening, watched Run Ronnie Run and Roger Dodger on DVD (rented), then Tuesday went shopping, got some new jeans (Hooray for pants!), saw Underworld with my brother and sister and father (I liked it! I don’t care what other people think! But despite all the other things, the moment the characters started using “Abomination” as a noun to describe a being that is both vampire and werewolf, I understood White Wolf’s suit, in part), did some more shopping and bought Quicksilver (Neal Stephenson’s new book) and some red and black paint (I run out of these pretty fast lately…) and a used copy of The Thin Red Line on DVD from Zia. This morning came back to Pine and got some heavy lifting done; we’re making a lot of progress towards clearing the space for the new home. Zoe, if you want that stainless sink, we’ve come to it in the pile and while it has not come up yet, its fate will soon be decided – Dad, when you see this, comment with a price, if you remember the sink I’m talking about.


Have I mentioned Laura lately? I keep meaning to talk about her, but I’m never qure quite what to say here. I mean, I think she’s great, we’ve been corresponding more by phone lately… probably because while her letters arrive from Spain within 3-4 days while mine get to her not sooner than a week after I send them, sometimes partially shredded, and there are two missives I sent on 9/8/2003 and 9/11/2003 which have not yet arrived, while one I sent on 9/15/2003 has just arrived. I do not know what to do. I know this must be very frustrating for Laura. I know it is frustrating for me. I know I’m using enough postage; I walk in and talk to a person every time, have each letter weighed and electronically stamped, making sure it gets into the hands of a postal employee with their word that it has enough postage… I’m not just sticking 37cent stamps on international letters and hoping for the best. For 80 cents an ounce, I wish they’d at least get there.

Laura will be in the US tomorrow, and for a few days, to attend the wedding of her cousin. It’s a little frustrating to know she’ll be walking around on the same little island as me instead of one so far away, but that she’ll still be quite far away. This little island called America is a pretty big one. Then she’ll fly back to Eurasia, to Madrid, to be 3500 miles away instead of just 1875 miles…. an 1875 miles which is closer than the 2000 she normally is in the US, but still too, too far away. My arms are not long enough to reach her, to hold her, to hug her. My smile is not bright enough to warm her. Not from so far away.

Yeah. Well. That’s how it goes. Maybe in a few years I’ll have my act together and get out to Europe like I’ve always wanted to… by then Laura should be conveniently on another continent, I bet. But hopefully by then we’ll at least have met. I’m pushing to see her as soon as I can, actually. Silly thing about actually wanting to see the woman I’m in a relationship with in person.

I’m so cold and tired and this post is taking much longer than I expected. I’m going to bed.

And no, I don’t know why I haven’t been posting lately. Sue me.

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Author, artist, romantic, insomniac, exorcist, creative visionary, lover, and all-around-crazy-person.