ezlaptop.com is a schmuck

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This message was added 5/4/2004:
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I have been contacted by the operator of http://www.pearlsofwealth.com/ezlaptop/ regarding this page. Since she operates a program that goes by the same name as the program that operated at EZlaptop.com and EZlaptop.net, and because her program is in no way affiliated with EZlaptop.com except by name, she feels that this site, which informs people about the ongoing saga of EZlaptop.com/EZlaptop.net and offers a location for all the people who have been affected by the scam that ran at EZlaptop.com and EZlaptop.net, does not deserve to exist. I disagree.

But, I am more than happy to make it clear that the comments expressed here by me are not intended to be regarding her program at http://www.pearlsofwealth.com/ezlaptop/ – I mean only to rever to the now-defunct program that existed at EZlaptop.com and EZlaptop.net, and the problems it has caused.

I am adding this statment to the top, middle, and bottom of both of my pages regarding EZlaptop.com/EZlaptop.net, as a courtesy to the operator of http://www.pearlsofwealth.com/ezlaptop/ – I do not want there to be any confusion – any negative comments made here are NOT about the program at http://www.pearlsofwealth.com/ezlaptop/

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This message was added 2/11/2004:
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IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY SIGNED UP, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR EZLAPTOP.COM.

I cannot say for sure yet whether they are entirely a scam, so everyone who already has an account (that hasn’t been cancelled yet), please keep clicking those links – when you get to 150, let us know what happens!

I just had my account forcibly closed.

I suspected that I had too many referrers or invalid links or something, because my credits seemed too high, so I emailed ezlaptop.com and asked if there was anything wrong, and if so, would they remove the extra credits? I made it clear that I did not believe myself to have done anything wrong and that I wanted to support their company and maintain a positive relationship and an open account.

Their response was to close my account.

Now, I can’t be sure of what happened (I think someone may have used illegal links or I may have had more than 10 referrals, and that’s what I was emailing to find out), but instead of letting me know WHAT was wrong or trying to resolve it, ezlaptop.com just closed my account.

I tried emailing ezlaptop.com several times, discussing the matter in a rational way, making it clear that while I had a guess as to what might have happened, I certainly didn’t break any of their rules myself. I tried discussing the matter as it relates to promoting a positive customer experience and creating an environment of positive customer service, but ezlaptop.com made it clear they are not interested in their customers’ interests or having a positive relationship with the people who are their source of their income.

Whether or not they ever actually send anyone a laptop, because ezlaptop.com is not interested in you beyond your $5, you should NOT do business with them. We can only teach these companies that treating people fairly is what we want by not giving our money to unfair companies.

ezlaptop.com changed its policies to prevent having to give out laptops: On the website, even right now, it encourages you (even on the Terms of Use page) to try to accumulate credits via referrals to reach the (currently) 150 credit goal faster. In fact, when they estimate how long ezlaptop.com expects it to take for someone to earn enough credits, they say that that goal can only be reached by getting a lot of referral credits. ezlaptop.com recently modified its Terms of Use so that when you reach 150 points and try to get your laptop, any credits earned from referrals beyond the first 10 referrals will be removed from your account and you will no longer have the required credits, if you had more than 10 referrals.

There is no way to know how many referrals you have had until you reach 150 credits and get your account closed for having too many referrals. I emailed to ask how many referrals I had, and had my account closed without even reaching 150 credits. If there was anything else wrong with my account, I don’t know it for sure; ezlaptop.com wouldn’t tell me. They just closed my account.

I have done nothing but try to promote a positive reputation for ezlaptop.com in the past, but they had never done anything wrong to me before. Now they have shown that not only are they uninterested in having a positive relationship with their customers, but they are looking for any chance they can get to close people’s accounts.

I will be emailing this message to everyone who has commented here.

IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY SIGNED UP, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR EZLAPTOP.COM.

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Original message follows:
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Yes, it’s true, I am sometimes a schmuck.

For instance, right after buying my novel, Zoe linked me to ezlaptop.com, as an option to try to replace my broken laptop for $5.

IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY SIGNED UP, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR EZLAPTOP.COM.

I get hundreds of SPAM every day. Actually, I also click through quite a few of them every day because they are funny or actually offer something I am interested in, usually to find that the links are bad, and no, I can’t get my allergies enlarged or get debt reduction without a prescription. Sigh.

IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY SIGNED UP, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR EZLAPTOP.COM.

So, for a $5 signup fee (this is like buying 5 lottery tickets, right? It’s a gamble) and 1, 2, or 3 emails a week (I opted for three, what the heck), each of which contains a link that must be followed in order to earn ‘credits’ (1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 credits per link), once I ‘earn’ enough ‘credits’ (150 right now, but their TOS says they can change that at any time without notice), they’ll just ship me a free VAIO laptop. Wheee!

IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY SIGNED UP, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR EZLAPTOP.COM.

Now, if they don’t close up shop and run off with my $5 before then, I’ll go ahead and advertise my book through them; their rates are reasonable, and I know people will click through. Anyone else can recommend some ‘captive audience’ ad click-through ‘services’ … preferably those that have already been verified are not scams… that I could advertise Lost and Not Found via? I’d like to get the word out to as many people as possible, when the time comes.

And now, to sleep, for in the morning I must wake early to do some hard labor before a day of retail followed by a little more hard labor. Happy birthday to me!

IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY SIGNED UP, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR EZLAPTOP.COM.

(Seriously, click the banner and gamble your $5. Everyone who signs up from my banner gets me 2 extra ‘credits’. It’ll be like a little mini birthday present for me, that might turn out to be worth a laptop, if they find enough advertisers and you can stomach clicking through their links three times a week.)

Published by

Teel

Author, artist, romantic, insomniac, exorcist, creative visionary, lover, and all-around-crazy-person.

328 thoughts on “ezlaptop.com is a schmuck”

  1. I saw that ezlaptop.com is at it again. The “owner” states that he “purchased” the site in July 2004 and that he is the new owner. He also said that he is not responsible for any accounts in force prior to his ownership. I’d be willing to bet it will turn out to be the same clown who will be keeping all of the money and calling everyone cheaters. If everyone isn’t convinced by now that this mess is nothing but a scam and you have $5.00 burning a hole in your pocket, the next time you see ahomeless person give them the money. You’ll get more out of doing that then you’ll ever get waiting for your laptop. Why would anyone in their right mind believe that they are going to get a computer worth over a thousand dollars for five bucks. Have you never heard of, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is?”

  2. I saw that ezlaptop.com is at it again. The “owner” states that he “purchased” the site in July 2004 and that he is the new owner. He also said that he is not responsible for any accounts in force prior to his ownership. I’d be willing to bet it will turn out to be the same clown who will be keeping all of the money and calling everyone cheaters. If everyone isn’t convinced by now that this mess is nothing but a scam and you have $5.00 burning a hole in your pocket, the next time you see ahomeless person give them the money. You’ll get more out of doing that then you’ll ever get waiting for your laptop. Why would anyone in their right mind believe that they are going to get a computer worth over a thousand dollars for five bucks. Have you never heard of, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is?”

  3. See now here’s how I saw it. I just recently signed up for this scam. The new ezlaptop.com makes you have to accumulate 210 credits now!!! Ok so that’s not too hard. Get a load of friends from mIRC and Filetopia and College to join. Now I would have thought that they WANTED people to sign up. The more people that sign up, the more $5 they receive! So for 210 credits, i’ll get (hypothetically) 10 from their NON-WORKING e-mail system, and 200 from referrals… $5 times 200 people is $1000 right there. Now what sane person would ever make someone get 200 people to sign up. Who in this whole world has 200 friends. NO ONE! No ONE PERSON will have 200 people fall for this scam. Now this is how I see it. They send you an advertisement e-mail once a week. So all these companies are paying EZLaptop.com to advertise for them. Great… What is EZ laptop doing with all the money?

    This site has one of the largest servers i’ve ever seen… (aka haxored into) They’re running on a Windows 2000 server box with multi-terabytes of harddrive space. I don’t see why they would need that, except to rack up the HUNDREDS of advertising companies webpages that they create.

    All-in-all there IS one and ONLY 1 way to beat this scam… IF or IF NOT a scam at all.

    You can 1 initial e-mail… That’s 2 credits. You get a referral… that, depending on the mood of the administrator, can be 1, 2, or 3 credits. say they are all 2 credits. You’re up to 22 (hypothetically in lest than a week). NOW, you have nothing left to do but sit around and wait for e-mails to be delivered to you. You get one a week. and depending again on the mood of the administrator, you get 1 or 2 credits per e-mail read. However, ezlaptop.com ONLY sends out 1 e-mail per week AT MOST!!! That means you’ll get one on average every week and a half.

    So in doing my calculations, I’ve added up the total FAIR waiting time to “not be considered a cheater!”

    2 initial credits (first week)
    20 credits from referrals (2nd week)
    188 credits from e-mails advertised every 1.5 weeks averaging 1.3 credits per e-mail (217th week)

    So if you want a laptop ANYTIME soon, don’t plan on using THIS scam. If you stick this thing out FAIRLY, RIGHT TO THE END… You can have your laptop in less than 4.1715976331360946745562130177515 years.

    So from the day you start this program, it will be 4 years 76 days 14 hours and 34 minutes by the time you will complete this scam offer… give or take 30 days, but not like that matters in a ratio when considering it’s going for 1,461 days. That’s a mrgin of error of 2.12 percent. And I’m speaking PRETTY confidently on this. Sound about right? WHO will stick through something like this for FOUR YEARS?!

    Byt the time the 4th year comes… laptops will be called palmtops… not palm PILOTS… you’ll have a micro projection lens, 200 GB harddrive, wireless ear pieces, and the thing will connect to your brain to know and take down what you’re thinking. By that time, this laptop will be in the smithsonian!

    Enjoy this scam! I am! Peace!

    Paul

  4. See now here’s how I saw it. I just recently signed up for this scam. The new ezlaptop.com makes you have to accumulate 210 credits now!!! Ok so that’s not too hard. Get a load of friends from mIRC and Filetopia and College to join. Now I would have thought that they WANTED people to sign up. The more people that sign up, the more $5 they receive! So for 210 credits, i’ll get (hypothetically) 10 from their NON-WORKING e-mail system, and 200 from referrals… $5 times 200 people is $1000 right there. Now what sane person would ever make someone get 200 people to sign up. Who in this whole world has 200 friends. NO ONE! No ONE PERSON will have 200 people fall for this scam. Now this is how I see it. They send you an advertisement e-mail once a week. So all these companies are paying EZLaptop.com to advertise for them. Great… What is EZ laptop doing with all the money?

    This site has one of the largest servers i’ve ever seen… (aka haxored into) They’re running on a Windows 2000 server box with multi-terabytes of harddrive space. I don’t see why they would need that, except to rack up the HUNDREDS of advertising companies webpages that they create.

    All-in-all there IS one and ONLY 1 way to beat this scam… IF or IF NOT a scam at all.

    You can 1 initial e-mail… That’s 2 credits. You get a referral… that, depending on the mood of the administrator, can be 1, 2, or 3 credits. say they are all 2 credits. You’re up to 22 (hypothetically in lest than a week). NOW, you have nothing left to do but sit around and wait for e-mails to be delivered to you. You get one a week. and depending again on the mood of the administrator, you get 1 or 2 credits per e-mail read. However, ezlaptop.com ONLY sends out 1 e-mail per week AT MOST!!! That means you’ll get one on average every week and a half.

    So in doing my calculations, I’ve added up the total FAIR waiting time to “not be considered a cheater!”

    2 initial credits (first week)
    20 credits from referrals (2nd week)
    188 credits from e-mails advertised every 1.5 weeks averaging 1.3 credits per e-mail (217th week)

    So if you want a laptop ANYTIME soon, don’t plan on using THIS scam. If you stick this thing out FAIRLY, RIGHT TO THE END… You can have your laptop in less than 4.1715976331360946745562130177515 years.

    So from the day you start this program, it will be 4 years 76 days 14 hours and 34 minutes by the time you will complete this scam offer… give or take 30 days, but not like that matters in a ratio when considering it’s going for 1,461 days. That’s a mrgin of error of 2.12 percent. And I’m speaking PRETTY confidently on this. Sound about right? WHO will stick through something like this for FOUR YEARS?!

    Byt the time the 4th year comes… laptops will be called palmtops… not palm PILOTS… you’ll have a micro projection lens, 200 GB harddrive, wireless ear pieces, and the thing will connect to your brain to know and take down what you’re thinking. By that time, this laptop will be in the smithsonian!

    Enjoy this scam! I am! Peace!

    Paul

  5. Holy shit I got my laptop. The best 5 gamble i ever spent. I’m not sure what you guys are mad about? i’ve been gettign 10 plus emails a week. I didn’t even refer any one. No where on there site does it say your required to. Now the down side. my laptop will arrive in 6-8 weeks. Christmas is coming. But I got it so there. Try it, when i seen this site before signing up i figured who cares its only 5 dollars. Best money ever spent too.

  6. Holy shit I got my laptop. The best 5 gamble i ever spent. I’m not sure what you guys are mad about? i’ve been gettign 10 plus emails a week. I didn’t even refer any one. No where on there site does it say your required to. Now the down side. my laptop will arrive in 6-8 weeks. Christmas is coming. But I got it so there. Try it, when i seen this site before signing up i figured who cares its only 5 dollars. Best money ever spent too.

  7. DUDE you are still waiting on the laptop so you didnt get it. So Guess what its still a scam to me. I got all my points and was told the same shit. And guess what Im still using my desktop. Hmmm guess shipping still on hold and no response from the new owner of ezlaptop.com and my emails i send to them get bounced back saying invalid email address. Fuck them. I will hook up with anyone to get a law suit on these pricks.

  8. DUDE you are still waiting on the laptop so you didnt get it. So Guess what its still a scam to me. I got all my points and was told the same shit. And guess what Im still using my desktop. Hmmm guess shipping still on hold and no response from the new owner of ezlaptop.com and my emails i send to them get bounced back saying invalid email address. Fuck them. I will hook up with anyone to get a law suit on these pricks.

  9. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  10. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  11. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  12. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  13. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  14. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  15. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  16. Hi, i’ve just sign up for EZLaptop.com
    I am loosing $5 I think. But, niet geschoten is altijd mis. as we say in The Netherlands.
    I will let you know when my laptop will arrive.

  17. i started to try the”ez laptop deal”fortunately i decided to research before i joined.finding this site helped me reach my decision to not join
    it sounds to me anyway you decide to earn your credits their is a “back door” type policy they
    have in releasing theirselves from having to give
    you the laptop they promise.in turn not only do they get your $5 they also get free advertising from each member.yeah it’s just $5 but you could get so much more with your$5 like a big mac meal
    from mcdonalds or a $5 blow job from a crackhead whore. at least when you spend $5 on a big mac meal you’re guaranteed to get something
    back like a big juicy turd.fuck them,common sense would tell anybody it’s a fucking scam.if you want to gamble your $5 thats fine but dont complain about it when you get jacked up for the money you’re really just asking for it.hell if you want to give your money away i accept paypal
    money orders cashiers checks and personal checks
    (personal checks that dont clear are subject to
    the maximum service fee allowed by law)ha ha.

  18. i started to try the”ez laptop deal”fortunately i decided to research before i joined.finding this site helped me reach my decision to not join
    it sounds to me anyway you decide to earn your credits their is a “back door” type policy they
    have in releasing theirselves from having to give
    you the laptop they promise.in turn not only do they get your $5 they also get free advertising from each member.yeah it’s just $5 but you could get so much more with your$5 like a big mac meal
    from mcdonalds or a $5 blow job from a crackhead whore. at least when you spend $5 on a big mac meal you’re guaranteed to get something
    back like a big juicy turd.fuck them,common sense would tell anybody it’s a fucking scam.if you want to gamble your $5 thats fine but dont complain about it when you get jacked up for the money you’re really just asking for it.hell if you want to give your money away i accept paypal
    money orders cashiers checks and personal checks
    (personal checks that dont clear are subject to
    the maximum service fee allowed by law)ha ha.

  19. You got to think of one thing, all these sites that sound to good to be true, and most likely are, they all have hundreds of thousands of suckers.. I mean users and not one of them has a message board/chat room or any other method for its users to contact each other on-site

  20. You got to think of one thing, all these sites that sound to good to be true, and most likely are, they all have hundreds of thousands of suckers.. I mean users and not one of them has a message board/chat room or any other method for its users to contact each other on-site

  21. and if noone got the point, i mean they dont want users telling other users that theyre scamming them

  22. and if noone got the point, i mean they dont want users telling other users that theyre scamming them

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