“You have to give up. It is only when you’ve lost everything that you are truly free to do anything.” -Tyler Durden
Tyler’s voice has been bouncing around in my head for the last day or two, repeating the same few phrases over and over again. It’s in that part of the memory you usually have a song repeating in. It got there by being part of a “song” for a “video” on the Fight Club DVD that I’ve seen probably a hundred times (I used to put it on repeat). It got there recently because (get this:) I recently redesigned the Beer Club Merchandise, which got my brain going on all things Fight Club.
Feeling pretty low and having a voice repeating “you have to give up” over and over again in my head is maybe not the best thing that ever happened to me. Not the worst, either. I really hurt the last tow on my left foot late last night when trying to get to the washer/dryer to more some laundry around, and it hurts quite a bit. Did you know you can’t limp on a bike?
I also seem to have stopped shaving (my face, my head) a couple of weeks ago. Something about feeling this way makes me feel too tired to go through those motions. Like my arms are too heavy to lift all the way to my head to drag a blade across it.
There’s always a good excuse, too. Well, maybe just a ‘good enough for me’ excuse. Last night’s Drawing I left me physically exhausted. We were creating gestural art which requires thousands of large, whole-arm & body movements, and I was using charcoal that was a bit too hard, so I was having to press pretty hard to get the right effects from it. Not sleeping enough lately may have helped. Tonight, I think I’m going to skip Beer Club in favor of sleeping as soon as I get home from class. Which means I won’t be shaving then, either. Maybe next week.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to actually get your hands on human adipose?