Jane Austin is a devil

So, for the last reading assignment for class, I’m supposed to read Jane Austin’s Mansfield Park and respond to it by this morning at 9AM. I’ve had the book for a while, and started reading it on Sunday, thinking that between Sunday afternoon, Monday at work, Monday afternoon, and Tuesday at work (I start work every day at 5AM this week), I should be able to read the nearly 400 pages & respond. Wrong.

Let me give a little background before I say the next bit: I am not the sort of person who usually falls asleep reading books. In fact, I can only think of one book, before I started this summer course, that I fell asleep reading, and that was Interview with the Vampire, the first 30 pages of which managed to put me to sleep two nights in a row. Since that time, I have had no trouble maintaining interest in a book to stay awake, even at night when I should be sleeping. This is not to say that when book reading interfered with normal sleeping I didn’t get tired; I was just able to recognise this and set the book down consciously before falling asleep.

As I said, I started reading Mansfield Park on Sunday. Right after sleeping some 13 hours, and not having gone to bed any extra late. I felt awake and alive and if not for the assignment, would have gone out and trimmed the tree that blocks my driveway and mowed the yards and poisoned them and maybe even washed the dishes. I definitely had to start laundry, so I did that, and then I set down with Mansfield Park. Except Mansfield Park is the work of a devil. I don’t mean to imply that Jane Austin is any important sort of devil, such as satan or beelzebub, but more like some minor devil of sleep inducement. I would estimate that for every page or two of Mansfield Park that I read, I sleep half an hour. On Sunday, and this is only because I kept setting alarms to go off every half hour, I managed to read about 6 pages in three hours before giving up and reading some material for the paper I’m working on for class. I would estimate that i have had an extra 6 or 8 hours of sleep in the last few days (another hour and a half this afternoon, plus I almost fell asleep at my desk at work twice today trying to read it) just getting through about 35 pages. It’s ridiculous.

I can’t be THAT sleep deprived, can I?

So, everyone else around me (and by everyone, I mean women) seems to love Jane Austin’s writing, and everyone in my class (that is, 14 women, 3 men) seemed to really enjoy it. They even mentioned, while talking about the storylines in the book, something that I can tie into the paper I’m working on about Jonathan Swift (this is the only encouraging thing about trying to get the reading done right away, right now). They started class by talking a lot about the differences in the movie version, and that was fine, and then we had an interlude where a couple of people gave their oral presentations, which was fine, and then we started in on analysis of the book, and I swear, just hearing people reading quotes and excerpts from the book, I was on the verge of falling asleep in class. Which I have never in my life done, and hope I never do.

I think I’ve found a profound tool to help me if ever insomnia strikes again; Mansfield parkk, the work of a devil, puts me right to sleep. Not in 100 pages, not in 20 pages. In one page. I can read any one page of this book and pass out. It’s amazing. Too bad it doesn’t work for everyone, or I’d market it somehow.

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Teel

Author, artist, romantic, insomniac, exorcist, creative visionary, lover, and all-around-crazy-person.

8 thoughts on “Jane Austin is a devil”

  1. Just an idea. Get the cliff notes and the movie and try to read every few pages or just a few lines on each page instead of drudging through the whole thing and never reaching the end because it is too exhausting. I have found authors or at least certain books that this was necessary for. Maybe these tricks can help you find it interesting enough that you can read at least half of it, or maybe you can at least fake it well enough to do the assignments that follow the reading of the book. Just an idea…

  2. Just an idea. Get the cliff notes and the movie and try to read every few pages or just a few lines on each page instead of drudging through the whole thing and never reaching the end because it is too exhausting. I have found authors or at least certain books that this was necessary for. Maybe these tricks can help you find it interesting enough that you can read at least half of it, or maybe you can at least fake it well enough to do the assignments that follow the reading of the book. Just an idea…

  3. I have moral objections against cliff notes as strong as any bias mother had about anything, so will be unable to go that route. Also, apparently the only movie version available is significantly different from the book, which was why we spent an hour talking about it today.

    I thank you for your suggestions, though. I will do what I can to get through the rest of the book and get everything else in the world I need to get done without the 100+ hours of sleep my projections indicate it wants to induce in me. I hope to be able to intelligently refer to it in a paper I have due Thursday afternoon, and a strong sense of personal responsibility concerning completing the things I set out to do, so I believe I will ba able to do it. I just need to be more dedicated.

    Like, I should be reading it now, for instance.

  4. I have moral objections against cliff notes as strong as any bias mother had about anything, so will be unable to go that route. Also, apparently the only movie version available is significantly different from the book, which was why we spent an hour talking about it today.

    I thank you for your suggestions, though. I will do what I can to get through the rest of the book and get everything else in the world I need to get done without the 100+ hours of sleep my projections indicate it wants to induce in me. I hope to be able to intelligently refer to it in a paper I have due Thursday afternoon, and a strong sense of personal responsibility concerning completing the things I set out to do, so I believe I will ba able to do it. I just need to be more dedicated.

    Like, I should be reading it now, for instance.

  5. Well, did you read my entire post? I said that I was the only one having this trouble, and that the other three guys in my class seemed to enjoy it. I agree that Austen kicks ass, because she’ kicked my ass until I passed out. She kicked my ass over and over again.

    As to whether or not I’m an idiot, you’ll have to ask someone else. I don’t claim to be a super-genius and I’m not sure I said anything that reasonably predicated your opinion of me, I just seem to be put to sleep by Mansfield Park.

    I would have emailed you directly and politely about this, but you didn’t leave your email address for some reason….

  6. Well, did you read my entire post? I said that I was the only one having this trouble, and that the other three guys in my class seemed to enjoy it. I agree that Austen kicks ass, because she’ kicked my ass until I passed out. She kicked my ass over and over again.

    As to whether or not I’m an idiot, you’ll have to ask someone else. I don’t claim to be a super-genius and I’m not sure I said anything that reasonably predicated your opinion of me, I just seem to be put to sleep by Mansfield Park.

    I would have emailed you directly and politely about this, but you didn’t leave your email address for some reason….

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