Category: Uncategorized

I need to make an apology, a retraction. What would probably be the thing the ‘normal’ person does is to edit or remove the original post, but I don’t edit or delete my posts. It’s all there.

I knew from even the moment I first wrote that post that there were things there, sentiments that I shouldn’t be having in quite that way, and that I should try to wait until I had calmed down a little more before posting. I also knew that it was time sensitive to post. So… It went up in the heat of the moment, and I need to make some apologies, some retractions.

Continue reading An apology, a prayer

I need to learn to accept that I have been given – or been given access to – all the answers I need. That I have been prepared appropriately for every challenge and question before it needs to be met.

I need to learn to accept it.

And I need to learn to see those answers in time, to realize what I already know about how to meet challenges before or as I am dealing with them, and use the tools that have been given to me more consistently.

I … I apparently already say in various ways that I “have all the answers” I need, but … I never heard myself saying it that way, even when people were repeating it back to me. I was talking on the phone to Stacy yesterday for a couple of hours (thanks again; I didn’t realise until I got back into the Starbucks and my friendly baristas were asking me why I’d gone home that I’d been on the phone for so long) and it came up a couple of times, and the second time when she told me I had all the answers and I tried to say (as I have been trying to tell people over and over again for months now) “I don’t have all the answers!” she actually put it in a way that I could hear that I DO say that I have all the answers. A lot, apparently. I’m going to try to pay attention to myself speaking more closely, looking for that phrase – I can’t … I hadn’t ever heard myself saying it before Stacy so reasonably pointed it out.

Continue reading struggling and/with acceptance

By way of Zoe, I found and took the test at perex.com.

My results are below, and except where noted, were uncannily accurate. Like, they want feedback on everything because they’re trying to be as accurate as possible, so after every paragraph there’s a little “give feedback” link, and … I’d read each paragraph and say “that’s true” “that’s true” over and over. A couple were “okay, yeah” but 85% were dead-on.

I think. I’ll come back in a few days and read this again and see what I think. Go take the test for yourself. The more people take it, the better it gets. It’s science! You want to help science, don’t you?

Continue reading Perex

Because I can’t think of anyone who might be available to go, wants to go, and has money to go watch Constantine with me, I’m planning on going tonight after work, to the 10:10 showing at the Harkins North Valley 16, near where I live. Unless I’m too tired after work. But … I’ve been up until almost 1AM every night this week, so I figure I should be fine.

If, however, you want to join me, tonight or any time this weekend to go watch Constantine, please let me know. Call me or email me or comment here. Unless I’m running WAY behind leaving work, I’ll stop in at home to check my email/comments between getting home from work and heading over to the theatre. But a call always works best, and if you’re the sort of person who likes to go to movies with me, you have my phone number.

So, yeah.

And then, this weekend I’ll probably work on editing Book Two.

Yesterday after my father and I went to work, my grandfather took my grandmother up the hill to Pine. This morning my father and I loaded the truck with stuff so he could take it to them – they’ve moved back to Pine.

Grandmother’s been getting worse. A lot worse, mentally.

It’s all very depressing and upsetting and then there’s the complicated feeling of hoping she passes on soon…

and I haven’t been posting about the whole thing, and it looks like I’m still not saying much.

But … that’s something. Going on. In my life, my world. Significant and .. I’m somewhat allowed to post about it. So. 40% of the residents here on Monday are gone now.

Everything’s going to … … fine… fine…