Category: Uncategorized

Kevin Fox said at fury.com:

“I’m afraid of success. As long as I’m not giving my 100%, then I can’t fail inside, because I could attribute the failure to my not giving my all. But, if I do give my all, and it turns out to not be enough, then it’s not that I failed, but that I’m incapable of success.

I like creating things, and often feel a sense of loss, of time wasted, when I do things that don’t have permenent, tangible end products.”

I am fairly certain that I’ve made both of these statements, almost word for word, within the last couple of weeks, or had them made to me, about me. These are things that I have been trying to adress and reconcile within myself for quite some time, and I am having varying levels of success. Like writing a novel, finally. I’ve been putting that off for fear of failure for a long time. Now the only way I could fail would be to quit; I’m not trying to write the great American novel, I’m trying to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

I haven’t been painting enough lately. I think that if I get far enough ahead on my novel this weekend, I’ll take an afternoon or two next week to paint. It’ll be a nice diversion.

Did I have a point here? Probably not. I was just reading Kevin’s site and it resonated with me, and I thought I’d share. Then the babbling began. Have a nice day!

Courtesy of The Onion:

Virgo: (Aug. 23

For the month of April, more people found Modern Evil and it’s blogs through search engines than ever before. Many of these were usual, expected searches like the most popular “stick figure comics”, followed closely by “evil poetry”, and even just “evil”. All good, relevent things for people to have searched for and chosed my site. Then there are the other 80 things people searched for. Here are some highlights in alphabetical order (click for commentary):

dental hygene (2 hits)
thirteen ghosts font (2 hits)
2 evil guys
3r33t hax0r
angry lobster logo
anneurisms
basic highschool physics diagram
biore strips bad for skin
boys showering with mom fantasy stories
carved wooden couches
carved wooden liquor cabinet
cetaphil moisterizer
damsels distress naked school
evil teddy bear comics
ford focus zx5 review
i would like to buy a bowel
lobster eyeballs
logo for k-pax
need a moisterizer for combination skin
new vw bettles
old movie poster photoshop
only starfish comic
powerbook mainboard change
proper dental hygene
rip foster
tennis court and golden mean
tony and guy” products hair
twix

Most of the people who followed the link to ME from google appear to have become somehow confused about what they were looking for. If you were looking for sites relating to “lobster eyeballs”, why would you click on a link to Modern Evil? We don’t have any lobster eyeballs. Trust me.

I just started reading Snow Crash for the first time yesterday. I read about 100 pages yesterday afternoon, and another 30 so far this morning, and I’ve just figured out what Neal Stephenson’s idea was. Like … my mind … I … Neal Stephenson had a really interesting idea. Then he built on it and wrote a story and a world around it. Snow Crash is the book that that story became. I will definitely read the other 340 pages that he wrote; it’s well-written and compelling. Still, as I figured out the “big idea” he had (well before any of the characters revealed it in any clear way), I felt like there was no longer any reason for me to read the book.

I think that this sort of mindset is the other side of the reason I seem to have trouble writing in general, and may have trouble writing this novel next month: That once I’ve got the “big idea” nailed down and understood, I’m done. I recently wrote down a couple of “big ideas” that I had, and … That was that. I remember thinking to myself that if I could extend either of these ideas to create a fully-detailed world (which I think I can), then maybe I could take a peek into that world and find a story and write that story. Except … I haven’t. Maybe I will in May.