Category: Uncategorized

I just wanted to share an experience I just had with a representative from the piece-of-shit company that it E*TRADE.

I’ve been trying to close my account with them for a couple of weeks, you see, and not having much luck. I tried emailing them for assistance and got an automated response. I tried figuring it out on my own, and my attempts even just to sell the stock I was holding were denied by the website on multiple occasions. Eventually, after the market closed last Friday, the website acknowledged that I has asked to sell my stock, and promised to do so just as soon as it could.

Monday morning, about 20 minutes after the market opened, my stocks sold. My polaroid stock sold for $0.00, since the E*TRADE commission for selling it was larger than the value of the stock. Actually, the charged me an undisclosed amount for the privelige of selling my stock. My Apple stock went for a fair amount, days after they announced new products and days before they announced a 4thQtr loss, less the fees of course. Then the outstanding negative balance of around $125 was deducted from the remaining value, and I was left with about $400.

Let me put that into perspective for you: I deposited (in a couple of deposits) around $1200 into E*TRADE to buy stocks. Due to the bankruptcy of Polaroid and the tech bubble bursting and bringing the Apple stock down with it, I lost approximately 40% of my stock value total. And I only got approximately 33% of my initial value back. Huh…. that must mean … E*TRADE took a full 27% in fees!

FUCK!!! 27%?!?!?

Anyway, so I’ve been pretty upset with E*TRADE for a while now. When I asked them last year some time how I could just get the stock certificates and close my E*TRADE account, they told me it would cost more than selling the stock through them, closing the acocunt, and re-buying the stock through a reputable broker. Well, not in those words exactly, but that meaning. That and the implied reference to the title of this site.

Where was I? Oh yeah. As soon as I was advised that my sock had sold, I put in a request that a check be sent to me (for an additional fee) for the full value of my account. It advised me that a check would be sent out the next business day. Since getting all of my money doesn’t exactly mean the account is closed, i thought I’d call and be sure the account got closed. After being on hold for a full 35 minutes (I love call timers) I calmly asked to have my account closed. The unfriendly rep on the other end, who would not giv eme his name proceeded to tell me that I could not have the value of the stock that had just sold for three days, that the check disbursment request I had made was invalid and deleted it, and that there was no possible way to put in a request to have the money sent to me and the account closed as soon as is possible with their rules. I asked for a supervisor and he refused to transfer me, I began to raise my voice but was very careful not to insult the rep or use foul language or anything else that would reasonably warrant being hung up on, and he continued to refuse to transfer me or assist me, and he actually began to laugh at me and make jokes at my expense. Which made me angrier and louder, but still not insulting or obscene. Then he hung up on me.

So I waited three days and last night I put in another request for a check for the amount of whatever is in my account. So tonight I thought I’d be sure the check got issued, the next business day basically being over. And it hasn’t. So I put in another request electronically, and I called. And I got Nate Denig. Who was very polite, and very calm, and did not laugh at me or make jokes at my expense, and stayed quiet while I told him about why I don’t like his company and the 27% they took. He cancelled all the check requests I had made and put in one of his own (that I verified live online while I was on the phone with him had not only been entered, but that confirmed that the order had been properly placed and a check would go out, as opposed to my requests that just said they had received my request) and a close account order and asked if there was anything else he could do to help me.

So I suggested that he refund the hundreds of dollars in fees that his company had charged me without notice or consent, and he kindly informed me that there was no way he could do that and asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me. I suggested that he pay me back out of his own pocket, since his paycheck came from fees fraudulently charged to my account (fraudulent in my eyes, not the US Judicial system which recognizes E*TRADE’s right to screw its customers as long as they put up a page somewhere that says they may screw their customers), and he said he wouldn’t do that and asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me. I suggested that he go to Hell and writhe in torment for eternity, that that might help me feel better, and he just asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me. I suggested that perhaps his killing himself might help, that perhaps he should kill his supervisors and his co-workers and himself in a murderous spree that might just harm the company in some way, and he said he wouldn’t do that, and asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me. I suggested that he quit working for a disreputable company and go find a job with a company worth working for, and he just asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me. I told him that I believed that he didn’t sound like he could be of any further assistance to me, thanks for nothing and have a rotten day, and he AGAIN asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me. I suggested rotting in Hell again, but he didn’t go for it, and after a couple more tries he stoped asking me if there was anything else he could do to help me. I had to say a specific phrase though, something like “No, Nate, there is nothing more you can do to help me today.”

So hopefully I’ll get my check eventually, my E*TRADE account will be closed and will stop accumulating fees, and all that business.

And hopefully Nate Denig will find a job more worthwhile than the one he currently works for. He clearly has valuable customer service skills. I even used obscene language and insulted him in the middle of the call a bit, and he stayed calm and impersonal and just tried to assist me and stick to the company line. I hope he goes on to a successful and fulfilling career in Customer Service, and hopefully witha company worth standing behind.

Yeah, so that … 24 hour day thing … it’s tough. I think, if I were going to try to ‘get used to’ it, it would take at least a couple of weeks. No need to do that, I was just trying to throw my sleep schedule off by 12 hours in two days. The method was 24 hours awake, 8 hours asleep, 24 hours awake, 8-10hrs asleep, wa-lah! So, I’m on that second 24hr day in a row, I’ve been awake almost 21 hours so far, and I’m feeling it. That, and I donated plasma for the first time today. Though I doubt that’s effecting me much at all.

I’ve tried a few times in the past to donate plasma for the first time, but the first time is the hardest. They normally expect it to take 3-4 hours your first donation. Donations after that are expected to take 90-120 minutes on average, including wait time. Except that yesterday two of their three nurses quit. And nurses are the only ones that are allowed to do the mini-physical required for new donors (and other donors annually). So from the time I walked in to the time I walked out was almost seven and a half hours.

They tell you to eat not more than two hours before you come in. I ate about a hour before I signed in. I then waited almost 6 hours for them to take my plasma. Luckily, it didn’t seem to adversely effect the actual process by slowing down my blood or reducing the amount of plasma in my blood, so we’re okay.

I’m so tired, but … I’m going to go watch the Surreal life now.

Typically, if you were to ask me whether I prefer theoretical sciences or applied sciences, I would tend to answer pretty strongly with theory. For instance, I’m interested in physics but not engineering. In physics I’m more interested in theoretical physics, leaning towards mathematics, than I am in applied physics, which is where the money is. Which is why I’m not a physicist.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to learn this Java 3D stuff, and I’ve been going along through the tutorials, learning the theory of how to write code, examining examples of code, learning code heirarchies and how to properly construct Java 3D code so it will render properly, and that’s all going fine. Except that the version of Java that exists on Apple computers does not contain the Java 3D API, and Sun’s FAQ basically says they want nothing to do with Apple, and would I please just go ask Apple to write their own Java 3D API? Which means I can’t compile or execute any of the code I’m learning about. I can look at the code of the example, and I can look at the screenshots of the output in the tutorial, but I can’t actually follow along. I can’t change a variable and see the effect. I can write my own program, but I can’t see it work, or even IF it works.

Here is a place where I’d like to lean towards the Applied end of the spectrum. I can’t, but I’d like to. If I had a current version of Virtual PC, I could be running Windows on my Mac, and I could compile and run the Java 3D code in the version of Java included in Windows. Except I didn’t buy the new version of Virtual PC when I had a job and I certainly can’t afford it now. So… Theory it is. I’m going to go ahead and plow through the tutorials, see if I can memorize it all without actually applying any of it until i can sit down in front of a PC. Argh.

Maybe later in the tutorials it’ll explain how to do it all in a browser. If it does, and it still doesn’t work on a Mac, I’ll come back here and update this to reflect my new frustration.

I don’t know how long I’ve been awake, but I keep fading in and out of sleepiness. Not actual sleep mind you, but sleepiness. For instance, right now as I type this I’m feeling pretty sleepy. Like I ought to have been to sleep hours ago. Like I could go lay down and fall asleep as soon as I hit the bed. It even makes sense since I felt this way, perhaps even sleepier, about an hour and a half ago. Except that about an hour ago I noted that I wasn’t sleepy at all. I felt wide awake, full of energy, looking for something to do. I actually have plenty to do, and as chance would have it, I got an email a little later that gave me a nice something to read and respond to until I started fading back into sleepiness. One of the things I need to do is really dig into the Java 3D tutorials I downloaded so I can get the whole thing learned and maybe begin putting some 3D elements on Modern Evil, but really because if I get that job (still waiting to hear back) I’ll need to know Java 3D. Except that reading tutorials will almost definitely put me to sleep from where I’m at. … Pardon me … My alarm clock just went off, which I guess means I’ve been awake close to 24 hours now. Doesn’t feel nearly as bad as I remember it the last time I was up this long. Huh. No headaches, no extreme sleepiness, just this fading-in-and-out sleepiness. Ooh, and some hunger. But I can’t eat. My primary plan for weight loss (aside from doing my best to avoid overeating at meals and constantly eating throughout the day when I’m not even hungry) is to avoid eating within the 3-4 hours before I go to sleep. I have found that when I eat immediately before sleeping, the food goes directly to storage, no questions asked. Which makes sense, I suppose. I don’t remember when I last ate, either. I remember brushing my teeth about an hour ago, when I thought I’d go to sleep then. Except I didn’t go to sleep then. I better go go to sleep now. if I go sleep now for eight hours, then stay awake another 24, I should be on track to be awake during the entire day on friday. Which was sort-of the plan.

What a strange thing that was.

First, that I would get up and go outside with the intention of mowing my yards and cleaning up my drive and all that yard stuff.

Next, that my lawn mower is simply missing. Gone. Wandered off on its own somewhere. Poof! No mower.

Of course, I haven’t mowed my lawns in a long time, so I don’t really even know how long it has been gone. It has gotten to the point where people comment on how I’ve really achieved that ‘creepy abandoned house look’ when they come by, or ask if the driveway has overgrown yet when making plans to come over. Some of the grass in my front yard, before the winter started turning it yellow and weak, stood as tall as my nipples. Which is nearly 5 feet, for those of you unfamiliar with my nipples. I kept meaning to get to them and then not being awake during daylight hours or finding things to do during daylight hours that seemed more important than mowing my yards one day sooner. They’ve been overgrown for months, I thought to myself, what’s another day?

Of course, it’s possible that the mower has also been missing for months, and my lawn would have ended up the way it is now as a result of missing equipment, but there’s really no way of knowing now. So I think I’m going to attack the grass taller than seems “normal” with the weed eater and see how I feel about doing the entire lawn with that tool… We’ll see. Sweep up the leaves and tree-droppings and glass (I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to smash up wine-cooler bottles in my driveway, but whatever) and pull weeds here and there.

Did I mention I’m trying to shift my sleep schedule by at least 12 hours in two days so i can do lunch and movies on Friday? So I thought I’d do things that keep me awake; brute force tasks that get the blood flowing. We’ll see how this all goes, with no mower. If you see a lawn mower wandering around on its own, by the way, let me know. It may be mine, and simply can’t find its way home. i know I’ve seen movies about appliances leaving homes on their own…