Category: Uncategorized

So a couple of days ago I removed the links and hooks into Kiss of Shadows, but failed to delete the actual files for some reason and people still kept looking at them. No problem, right? Except that I looked and 25% of the traffic so far this month to Modern Evil has been people who searched google for some variation of anti-valentines day and got to Marie’s year-old post on the subject. Over 500 visitors in the last four days have looked at that one page and nothing else on the site.

So I just deleted the entire kissofshadows directory and set it up to redirect anyone who clicks google links into kissofshadows to the main Modern Evil page. Hopefully the google link will stay up for another couple days and 500 new people will find out that there’s something new and interesting to look at besides some old post about Marie’s bad day.

I just got an unsolicited ‘junk’ (or SPAM) phone call. Not from a timeshare or a long distance company or a bank trying to refinance my home. I got a call with the offer of a free adjustment at a local chiropractor. If I sign up now, I can receive one free treatment for only one can of canned food, you know, for the homeless. I sort of wonder what the rest of the spiel would have been, but I cut the young woman off pretty quickly with “I’m not interested.”

Now, if she’d been offerring to lengthen my penis…

So, you know how sometimes I stack my dirty dishes on the counter? Plates and bowls and plates and bowls, large and small, layer after layer right up to the cupboards? Like you see sometimes in cartoons. They look like they’re about to come crashing down, but they never quite do. I actually have been using it as a guide for when to do the dishes; if one of the stacks actually does reach the bottom of the cupboards above, it’s time to do the dishes. So tonight after I baked a batch of muffins, I was about to set the empty moffin pan on the stack of dishes that was basically up to the cupboards on its own.

But that was one too many.

And they all came crashing down.

Four ceramic cereal bowls, two small glass dessert plates, two small glass bowls, four large glass dinner plates, and that metal muffin pan. All came crashing down.

Down.

Down.

Crash, smash, crunch, and broken bits and pieces scatter across the kitchen floor from end to end in a visual and auditory cacophony.

I react as quickly as I can. I keep some of the dishes on the counter, but it’s just not enough. And almost everything is clear glass. I’m thinking of the next few days picking tiny shards of nearly invisible glass from holes in my feet only visible by the gushing floods of bright red sap leaking out where the bits of has-been-plates went in. Except as I pick up the pieces, as I stack the dishes more sensibly, plates on plates and bowls in like bowls, I notice something.

There is no broken glass on the floor.

Every plate and every bowl made of glass is checked and all are intact. Not cracked or chipped and certainly not smashed into a thousand pieces. The only thing broken is one of the ceramic bowls. One. Ceramic. Bowl. That’s it. I pick up the clearly visible pieces, sweep the rest away, and … that’s it. No more stacked dishes.

There are things that still need to be ironed out, set in stone, verified by third parties, &ct, but at least we have a sort of a plan. I’m going to move to Pine and live with my grandparents. Most of my stuff will be stored there or at my dad’s house here in Phoenix, but I’ll be able to bring some stuff with me. I’ll still have internet access, but it will be dial-up for the first time since just about exactly five years ago. No cable TV. No TV, really. No job slaving away for corporate America more than half my waking hours, and no stress over not being able to find some corporation that wants me as a slave. No formal higher education, but plenty of time to read and study and work on my painting and writing &ct. I’ll have a great opportunity to spend time with my grandparents before they die, and to help them with the day-to-day things they have increasing difficulty with on their own. There’s a lot to be learned from one’s grandparents, but you have to take the time to listen to them. I’ll also be minding the store up there and doing general work around the property – upkeep as well as whatever needs to be done to help make the property sale-able. It will be different, but it is definitely a big step in the sort of direction I want to be going in. I want to be able to spend 40 or more hours a week where my primary concern is my art and my writing. Where I’m not stressed out about finding work, where I’m not stressed out by the work I find, where I’m not worried about balancing my checkbook every day and wondering whether the ends are going to meet. When everything works out the way the hopeful among us hope it will, my family and I will be living on wholly owned property in excess of 40 acres, each sibling (and their family, in the case of April) with their own plot of land to live on and house to live in, I’ll be working with my dad to build high-end furniture and spending most of the rest of my time working on my arts. There is a lot of work to be done between now and then, and because the end result is something I so strongly desire I am willing to do whatever is necessary. Deal with whatever changes come my way, but stay focused on the goal we’re working toward.

I remember back in October when I was trying to make a list of what I wanted out of life, a thing or two appeared on the list that seemed far out of my reach. I did not cross them off the list because they seemed far-fetched or because they would be difficult. Instead I tried to figure out what it would take, based on the information I had at the time about the resources potentially available to me, to achieve the goals. My best guesses involved over ten years of working hard at a job I didn’t want to be doing, scrimping and saving and cutting costs and paying off my debts and investing at high interest rates before I could even consider that biggest goal. I want to take at least 10 years off traditional work to focus on purely creative endeavors. Creating hand-crafted high-end furniture is a fairly creative and rewarding thing I can do with my father to earn income, and it should easily allow more than enough time to get real work done on my other creative aspirations. It’s also something I can begin to train for in the next year or two (or more) as we put the property in Phoenix, the property in Pine, and then the property wherever our family ends up, in order. (That is, remodeling, removing junk, building new structures, and on the final property building at least a couple houses.) And in the meantime, I can focus a lot more of myself on what I want to be focused on and spend a lot less stress on other things, and maybe that first ten years will get started this month.

So, to re-cap: Within the next couple of weeks I’ll be moving from Tempe to Pine, AZ (just a ways past Payson, AZ). I will have internet access, and expect to continue to post. I will continue to work on new paintings, novels, and screenplays. I will get to know my grandparents better before they die. Oh, and did I mention that I may end up learning to drive stick shift and actually driving back and forth between Phoenix and Pine once in a while?

Did I mention that in order to help generate revenue to Save Modern Evil, all 16″x20″ paintings I’ve done are available for a limited time for only US$80 each. There are nine such paintings online right now in the Art section. Within the next week or two, at least 5 more of these discounted paintings will be available online.

In addition to all the discounted paintings, any proceeds from the sales of other paintings available on Modern Evil (all paintings larger than 16″x20″) will go to Save Modern Evil. For instance, if someone bought lost, best intentions, or please, Modern Evil fould be saved in one fell swoop. With all the larger paintings, I will accept reasonable offers above or below the prices listed. Email me an offer!

Also, I’d like to extend an offer for commissioned work. I’ll extend the offer of creating any 16″x20″ paintings anyone wants to commission for the low, low price of only $80. For larger works and murals, contact me directly and we can negotiate a fair price. All proceeds from comissioned work from now until May 03, 2003 will benefit “Save Modern Evil.” Thank you,