I’m going to go ahead and apply for a home loan and see if I can find a house to buy. It looks like I can only afford about $100,000, though. I don’t know whether I’ll be able to locate a home in this area for that little. Suck.
Category: Money
3.4.8.-2
I’ve stripped the blankets off my bed and I’ve stripped the clothes off my back. I’ve opened the window to let the cool air in, but I can’t seem to find music that sounds sad enough and I still feel like there’s a layer of heat stuck between me and the air in my room. I was feeling fine earlier. I was as good as I expected to be and there was no reason to expect anything but the best. I’m trying to figure out what the difference is. What crawled across my flesh and into my head and made me feel like hope is hopeless and brought these tears to my eyes only to tell me that crying won’t solve anything? What sight or sound or memory flitted across my perception and showered me with this sense that something is dreadfully wrong; that there is no direction to run in that will not take me into the arms of the very thing I was running away from?
Very few repurcussions…
[post transcribed from a paper journal]
Do you realize that if I died today, very few repurcussions would follow? One of the most annoying is that I would not be attending the rest of the semester, but would not be available to officially withdraw. My grades would all drop to F’s, and even in death I would be a failure. Another thing that would happen if I died would be that my family would incur at least a few thousand dollars of debt, what with sky-rocketing funeral expenses. Even only with cremation the cost is no less than $1200. Since my family makes less than six times that in a year, this would only add to their misery. Of course, since they’ve already got tens of thousands of dollars of debt and seem to be doing alright, I suppose a few thousand more wouldn’t really hurt.
Then again, other than human misery and pain because of their irrational inability to deal with death, there really aren’t any other important side effects. My death, since someone somewhere dies (on average) once every one and a half seconds, would truly be unimportant. Bad grades, higher debt for my family, and any irrational mourning by the people in my life really isn’t that bad, and won’t really last very long after I’m gone. Since there is someone born somewhere every 2/3 of a second, there are plenty of people to take my place; I will not be missed if you look at the whole.
Pell Grant money came in!
[post transcribed from a paper journal]
Wednesday, my check came in. That is, rest of the money from my Pell Grant was sent to me. You see, as a result of being a member of a family so poor it has begun to be entertaining figuring out where the next meal is coming from, (slight exaggeration, perhaps) The Government is paying for my schooling. In fact, they have allotted me about $1200 per semester for PVCC. Of course, since I’m only allowed to take so many classes (I’m in 17 credits worth of classes right now), and I only need so many books, I only spent about $580 on classes and $200 on books.
The remaining $460 had to be sent to me as a check, which I received on Wednesday. I then, yesterday, opened a savings account with Desert Schools Federal Credit Union, payed my dad the $80 that I owed him for school supplies, and took another $60 to go on a date tonight.