Author: Teel

So, I had an email conversation today that really upset me. Not that there was a really (really) good reason for me to be upset, just that I was already having a reasonably bad day, and then this sortof shoved me into an intense and prolonged anxiety attack. (Which, if my documentation can be trusted from inside said attack, also included behaviour symptomatic of Asperger’s.) The drive home was calming, largely because most of the driving I do is calming. I should post about that, too. Anyway, I’m still a bit on edge, even after talking on the phone with Mandy for the last couple of hours and otherwise working to continue calming myself after getting home, but largely I’m okay-ish now.

Really, I probably ought not to have reacted this way at all. But … here’s the emails (with the other person’s name removed):

Continue reading Bad evening tonight…

I’ve got some okay photos of my new paintings, and got them online (wretchedcreature.com). Click to see larger images:

As always, they look better in person. If you’d like to come see them in person, please do not hesitate to ask.

I have at least three more paintings done that aren’t on wretched creature, I just don’t have photos of them yet. ‘puppy___’, ‘SEX&LOVE’, and ‘eat to fill the void’ so far… Several others in progress…

Ooh, fun fact about the manic side of whatever’s wrong with me: my mind isn’t letting me sleep even though my body is sick and tired and sore and I need my sleep. Instead I’m doing things like writing this and getting weird ringtones onto my phone. I should have gone to sleep hours ago.

Although, it is pretty awesome getting the ringtone from Crank to finally work on my phone. Stupid Verizon. Always blocking what I want in the hopes that instead I’ll use whatever crappy thing they’re offering. Sigh. I think I’m officially past the end of my contract with them now, but … can’t reasonably do anything about it. Right now I’m on a family plan which means I borrow from a pool of minutes with my family and only pay $25/month for my share. Plus, my girlfriend is also Verizon, which means talking to her (which I do a lot of, generally, since she’s in another city most of the time) is free as long as I stay with Verizon. I hear rumor that since Apple is blocking Cingular from giving a discount on the iPhone they’ll be ‘giving away’ the service… if so, I may be able to afford to switch … assuming I have the money for the device when it hits. Anyway, my phone now sounds like it’s dying when you call, which is awesome.

And my throat hurts.

And I want to build a large, strange device composed mostly of metal and glass … as a sort of custom reverse-painting easel. Because I have a few ideas that might only be reasonably achievable with such a device. Ooh, it has so many uses. Well, really just one, but I can use it in so many ways while it does that one.

Alright, alright, I’ll sleep. Stupid work.

wretchedcreature.com – now online. Take a look.

I don’t know what they’re teaching Personal Trainers these days, but according to Mandy (who works part time as such), 45 minutes of painful diarrhea does not count as exercise. I wonder if there’s some way to determine how many calories burned in such an activity, to compare it to, say, crunches or power walking. Of course, focusing on those muscles doesn’t make me look better naked (though … I suppose it could make me better in bed, considering…), and won’t much help me lose weight. (Alright, I’m sure having a foreign agent flushing out my system literally reduced my weight while also preventing a certain amount of calories (and nutrition) from being absorbed, but … I mean strictly from the calories burned…)

Alright. Now to try for breakfast.