Author: Teel

Well, last week I worked hard at cleaning this place up every night for the party. This week I’ll be working on getting everything packed up for the move next weekend. I hope I can pull that one off. I have to at least get my TV over there on Saturday; the Cox guy is coming to hook it up Saturday afternoon, and it gets shut off here then. I need to call Sprint Broadband again and schedule to have someone come out and get me hooked up at my new residence. They will charge me no less than $99 for the privelige of being hooked up at my new address, and they want to charge me an additional $99 to have them take the equipment down here. So, I’m going to see if I can find a friend with a ladder and some tools to get the thing off the roof here so they don’t rape me so hard for using their service.

All the other utilities (Power, water, gas) are turned on and in my name already. I should go over there and turn down the AC. Who knows that they have it set to. Probably going to cost me a fortune. I had to put down new deposits with all my utilities because my current accounts do not have at least a 12-month history. Only 11-month. So, at the end of July when I turn everything off at this house, I’ll get my old deposits back and be able to afford the deposits they just charged me. With any luck I’ll be able to convince them to give me back the new deposits at that time, too, which will be a real life saver. This reminds me that I’m supposed to get money from Woody soon. Theoretically, he got paid Friday, so I should be getting some money post-haste.

I want to just get out of this place. Not that I don’t like it, but … It’s starting to get on my nerves. Too many memories here that I don’t know what to do with. Too many things like last night’s party. Right now, I walk into the kitchen and I see a spread for a party that is still soo intact that it looks like the party hasn’t started yet. (Ask any of the atendees, and they may tell you that it hasn’t.) How do you think that makes me feel? I need to get all that stuff out of sight for the same reason that I had to get the engagement ring I bought for Melissa out of my possession after she gave it back to me. (“I couldn’t look at it. It made me think of you. You get in the way.” – Lisa Loeb, Firecracker)

“It is better to burn out than to fade away.” – Kurgan

This party was supposed to be the last big bash. The last party. A big one, a good time. See all my friends and old friends and have a good time and a great party and then move to my new place and disappear. So that people remember me happy and having a good time and have fond memories of my parties. So I can remember them as having a good time, and have fond memories of being able to throw good parties.

Alas, that is not what has occurred. Instead, the few people that bothered to show up will remember only a disappointing party, where they basically only saw the people they brought with them as the entire party. Not with a bang, but a whimper. I guess I didn’t try hard enough to invite people. I guess I didn’t sell people on the idea of the party, or I am running out of friends (as I have suspected and commented on here before), or … who knows? I got my hopes up, and they were dashed aside. I was able to remain hopeful that people would show up until around 1:20AM, because several people said they expected to be able to show up after midnight. They did not.

So, as it turns out, very few people ended up showing up at all. Like, Iain implied that some 10 or 20 of his friends would show up (half for the movie and half later), and for the movies we had Iain and myself, Zoe and Amy (Zoe and I go way back; even if we’re the only two guys there we’ll have a good time), and Marie for the Specials (she had to go to work after that) and one friend of Iain’s (whose name I didn’t catch) who showed up over an hour after the movie started, but well before the rest of the party was invited to show up. So, that’s something. Except that with weeks of planning and dozens and dozens of invitations going out, I kinda expected a few more heads.

Continue reading Mellow Party

Sometimes I feel like everything I’m typing here is like a verbose form of whining. Usually not while I’m writing it, because then it’s my trying to get out the ideas that are in me. Maybe what’s in me is whiny. Maybe I’m just being self-critical to too high a degree. Maybe I’m whining about myself right now. How would I know? I can’t listen to the tone to see if it is coming through audibly, and I seem to have lost the people who cared enough to comment. Either because everything I’m saying makes sense or because I’m so awful I’ve driven them away. Or maybe I’m being too self-centered in all of this, and there aren’t comments for some other rational reason, like people have lives of their own.

Maybe the benefit of extra sleep is an active mind. I have written more things today than any recent day. I do not know if it is because my mind is sharp from getting plenty of sleep, or if it is just a confluence of events that has swum across the surface of my mind. I want to get this in today, so I’ll post it now. I’m not sure if I have something else to say.