I don’t know why.
On an unrelated note, I spent over three hours working (on and off) on a post here a night or two ago, only to have my browser (yes, I mis-typed and pressed the keys, the computer doesn’t actually act on its own – I was tired) refresh the page and lose all my text. I then gave up making a post for the night and went to read some erotic literature and marturbate, but that didn’t work out very well, either (it was not very well written, or very erotic… sad). Oh well. That sort of thing, while upsetting, usually doesn’t push me over the edge.
I keep going over the edge, though. (See my recent post on the subject of being unstable – things have gone back to that place lately.) I keep having long, terrible anxiety attacks for no reason. I keep sinking into despair. I keep having sharp mood swings, where I’ll suddenly go from terrible to … pretty good… in minutes or without notice, for no reason, sometimes.
Anyway, I have to go out now. Here’s hoping I don’t implode (emotionally).