I don’t generally bother with Tarot cards and “readings”, or at least haven’t in the past. The woman I was recently involved in … cards, not just tarot but also a game/divination I play with a specially culled deck called Wish, kept coming up and being relevant to things that were going on with us at the time … in such a way as to be more apparently serendipity than coincidence. I did my best to prove that it was all nonsense.

But a few nights ago I was walking home … probably from the movies… I remember it was late enough at night that the traffic was light… it was probably, actually, the Saturday before last… or … I don’t know, exactly, but … it was already apparent to me that I had lost this woman from my life, so probably after the Monday before last… anyway, I was in a total daze, barely conscious of the world around me, and I remember feeling like I was going crazy. My body looked foreign to me and my mind and voice kept erupting into unknown patterns and sounds and … I wasn’t feeling well, at all. It was probably right after I watched Hide and Seek… let me look that up…. okay, this must have been last Friday night, about a week ago. Time is a funny thing…

Anyway, I was stumbling home, talking aloud to myself and uttering strange sounds and flailing my arms and I’m sure I looked crazy, and I knew it at the time, but …. well, I guess I didn’t care. I am crazy. But then … I was walking across a road, you know, where a side/residential street comes up to meet the big, scary street? Where the little road, probably 30th or 31st, meets the big Bell Rd, right? And halfway across I notice a strange rectangle on the ground, probably two inches by four inches, and I bend over in a daze to pick it up. Except it’s flat, like paper, and my hands don’t want to pick it up… so I’m kindof fumbling with it for a moment, bent over in the middle of the road in the middle of the night and … I was paying too much attention to the card, I guess, because this car turns off Bell and goes right on down that side street, and I’m pretty sure from where I was standing he would have had to pass through me or go over the curb, but I would probably have noticed him going over the curb… so … maybe I’m not really here at all, right? But then I finally got the thing picked up, and it’s a card from an odd-sized deck. I turn it over to look at it and continue stumbling home, and it’s in several languages, none of which I seemed to be able to read (probably one of them was English, but I was pretty far gone), but all of which I seemed to comprehend, plus the big picture helped… It was the Nine of Cups. Right now I can’t remember if I picked it up facing me or reversed or what, and I certainly don’t know the rules about which way to turn over a card to preserve its facing, but… I knew this card was important to me, somehow. But I didn’t look it up until tonight.

That link there, that’s the “I feel lucky” result of the google inquiry I punched in – I have a LOT of luck with getting the exact answers I need from the “I feel lucky” result of the searches I use. I think it has a lot to do with making the right searches. Or the hand of fate. One of those, probably. What it says (in part) is that “The nine of cups indicates good health and much success. There will be a situation which will provide for your best interests. Material gains could be part of your attainment as well as emotional support in life. Your work will start off bright, then turn dark, and then bright again. Don’t worry, after a slight retrograde, you’ll see material gain or a good outcome. An emotional issue concerning the care or treatment of another will be discussed.” and when reversed, “The nine of cups is a card of satisfaction and wishes. Now, when it is reversed, it suggests that you may be disappointed that your wishes are not materialising. Perhaps there are a lot of desires that you have and hope for from this life, but there is some frustration because these aren’t being fulfilled. … It can also point to a wish that is not yet fulfilled, perhaps because it is desired too intensely or the querent is sabotaging their own efforts.”

Which, yeah, that relates to what’s been going on with me, both forward and reversed.

Oh, yeah, and “In many tarot traditions, the nine of Cups is known as the Wish Card. It shows your wish will come true. A wonderful prospect, but remember your fairy tale lessons. You must be sure you know what you really want and accept the responsibilities that go with your wish. If that is the case, then enjoy your good fortune!” – “Wish” has been a key element of what’s been happening in my life these last couple of months, and when I am not intentionally sabotaging the results, “Wish” provides uncanny accuracy – and the single card, dropped out of the sky for me to tell me about what’s going on, is the “Wish Card”. Alright, alright, I’m listening.

Apparently, I don’t need a psychic or a full deck of cards or a reading to get the truth… the universe will simply place relevant information directly into my path. In an apparently dangerous location which, as long as I am confident/unafraid, does not hurt me. Now … there’s a lot more to the reading of that card, a lot of dangers and pitfalls to be wary of. But this is just one aspect of … a lot of things that have been telling me, reminding me, really, of what I already knew.

it’s just … it’s hard, sometimes, to do what you know you need to do, in order for things to work out for the best. But … that’s the definition of maturity, right? Doing what is hard now for greater results in the future? I can do this. It’s hard, but I can succeed.

This link is for someone else. She says she isn’t reading this anymore, but in case she does, this is for her.

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Author, artist, romantic, insomniac, exorcist, creative visionary, lover, and all-around-crazy-person.

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