Yes, the code is a mess because I basically just heavily modified someone else’s “store” page and haven’t had a chance to clean it up, but … I think it looks good and I’ll get the pre-order for the novel in it soon enough …
But for now, the buttons work and it seems to look okay. I’ll update it … probably tomorrow night with more info.
I must sleep now, or my brain will implode.
Pregnancy Test
Oh my God, run for your life, you’re pregnant. During your life, you’ll have:
4 children.
Here are some stats about that kid you’ve got coming down the pipe:
Sex: female
Birth weight: 15 lbs. 10 oz.
Length at birth: 8 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 13%
Most likely defect: old-age
Now, I see an 8″, 15 lb. baby as having more than a 13% mangling birth-defect.
Slut Test
45% slutty
which is actually less than the average, 46%.
Based on the 8,633,424 test takers so far:
you’re sluttier than 48% of the world.
you’re cleaner than 50% of the world
Gay Test
You are 36% GAY!
That’s gayer than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation. The typical straight female is only 32% gay!
Un-telligence Test
You have a knack for greatness. For the record,you are:
79% Un-telligent!
which is significantly higher than the current average of 60%
Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are resourceful and sly woman:
“The subject shows an astounding level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that’s only part of the equation.
“Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn’t tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.
“Finally, the subject displayed a healthy (better than most net freaks anyway) sense of humor, a fair and productive sense of morality, and a lack of self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals.”
Love Test
Greetings, confusoid. You scored a…
66%
Is it a bird? A plane? Is it a boy? A girl? Is it love, or is it lust? Ah, you. You are that rare mix of sensitive and sensual, romantic and randy, pride and prejudice, etc. When you see your crush, you waffle like a Belgian, unsure of whether you’d rather paint their toes or suck on their toes. Poets have long been puzzled by your kind. You’ll never fall for robots or nymphos, but you will suffer longs bouts of marriage.
Death Test
You can expect to die on:
March 9, 2052
at the age of 73 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from:
Cancer (31%)
Homicide (11%)
Alcoholism (10%)
Alien Abduction (8%)
Drowning (7%)
Heart Attack (6%)
Pregnancy Test
Oh my God, run for your life, you’re pregnant. During your life, you’ll have:
4 children.
Here are some stats about that kid you’ve got coming down the pipe:
Sex: female
Birth weight: 15 lbs. 10 oz.
Length at birth: 8 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 13%
Most likely defect: old-age
Now, I see an 8″, 15 lb. baby as having more than a 13% mangling birth-defect.
Slut Test
45% slutty
which is actually less than the average, 46%.
Based on the 8,633,424 test takers so far:
you’re sluttier than 48% of the world.
you’re cleaner than 50% of the world
Gay Test
You are 36% GAY!
That’s gayer than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation. The typical straight female is only 32% gay!
Un-telligence Test
You have a knack for greatness. For the record,you are:
79% Un-telligent!
which is significantly higher than the current average of 60%
Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are resourceful and sly woman:
“The subject shows an astounding level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that’s only part of the equation.
“Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn’t tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.
“Finally, the subject displayed a healthy (better than most net freaks anyway) sense of humor, a fair and productive sense of morality, and a lack of self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals.”
Love Test
Greetings, confusoid. You scored a…
66%
Is it a bird? A plane? Is it a boy? A girl? Is it love, or is it lust? Ah, you. You are that rare mix of sensitive and sensual, romantic and randy, pride and prejudice, etc. When you see your crush, you waffle like a Belgian, unsure of whether you’d rather paint their toes or suck on their toes. Poets have long been puzzled by your kind. You’ll never fall for robots or nymphos, but you will suffer longs bouts of marriage.
Death Test
You can expect to die on:
March 9, 2052
at the age of 73 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from:
Cancer (31%)
Homicide (11%)
Alcoholism (10%)
Alien Abduction (8%)
Drowning (7%)
Heart Attack (6%)
I wonder how big a kidney stone a man would have to pass to feel the equivalent pain of pushing a FIFTEEN POUND BABY out.
I said DAYUM!
I wonder how big a kidney stone a man would have to pass to feel the equivalent pain of pushing a FIFTEEN POUND BABY out.
I said DAYUM!
I wonder how I got my comment in the wrong entry. 😐
I wonder how I got my comment in the wrong entry. 😐
Well, since you’ve commented here, now you have to buy a shirt. Sorry. Them’s tha’ rules.
ie: if you get up my hopes that someone commenting on my store is doing so because they are interested in a product, only to have mis-posted your comment, you have to make up the difference.
But … I bet I could get it to you without shipping it to you, so you could have a shirt for $16. Email me. We’ll straighten this out.
Well, since you’ve commented here, now you have to buy a shirt. Sorry. Them’s tha’ rules.
ie: if you get up my hopes that someone commenting on my store is doing so because they are interested in a product, only to have mis-posted your comment, you have to make up the difference.
But … I bet I could get it to you without shipping it to you, so you could have a shirt for $16. Email me. We’ll straighten this out.
And as long as we’re at it, I know I told it I was male, but here you go:
The Pregnancy Test:
Oh my God, run for your life, you’re pregnant. During your life, you’ll have:
4 children.
Here are some stats about that kid you’ve got coming down the pipe:
Sex: female
Birth weight: 18 lbs. 6 oz.
Length at birth: 5 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 9%
Most likely defect: no head
Now seriously. A five-inch long, 18lb baby is MUCH worse. Especially considering the equipment I’ve got to work with. Of course, if it has no head, I’ll just chop it up and make a stew. Mmm… succulent babies…
And as long as we’re at it, I know I told it I was male, but here you go:
The Pregnancy Test:
Oh my God, run for your life, you’re pregnant. During your life, you’ll have:
4 children.
Here are some stats about that kid you’ve got coming down the pipe:
Sex: female
Birth weight: 18 lbs. 6 oz.
Length at birth: 5 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 9%
Most likely defect: no head
Now seriously. A five-inch long, 18lb baby is MUCH worse. Especially considering the equipment I’ve got to work with. Of course, if it has no head, I’ll just chop it up and make a stew. Mmm… succulent babies…