Thinking about food

I keep thinking about food. All afternoon. People around me, talking about food, getting their lunches and enjoying them, hours after I’ve eaten, hours before I can go home and eat. Trying not to think about food, but I have to think about food. I have to know what I’m going to eat before class before I get home or I end up with something like an inhaled frozen dinner because I wasn’t thinking about food until the last minute. If I don’t remember even to start the frozen dinner, it can set me back. Make me walk to school without my food even leaving my esophagus. Did you know I walk to school every day? It’s about 11 minutes from my front door to the door of the classroom. Not bad, though carryi8ng everything to my Drawing class is a bit awkward. I’m trying to decide whether it’s $30 awkward (if it is, I’ll go buy a drawing board that fits in my portfolio/bag/thing) or just frustrating. If I don’t eat right before class, I’ll most definitely be hungry during class. So, here we are. I’m thinking about food. Last night I was thinking of making Spaghetti for dinner, but remembered that I had a couple of hot dogs left from an open package that I didn’t want to go bad, and boiled them thoroughly instead of noodles. So today I’m thinking of Spaghetti again. Not hard, but quite tasty. Something I can put on and eat between work and class (which isn’t a lot of time) and feel like I’m eating a real meal. Something there will be plenty of left when I get home after class and am looking for something to eat. Which is good, because it usually ends up being cookis or candy or some such instead of anything hearty or good for me. About out of fruit in the house right now, no vegetables to speak of. Every time I look at my refrigerator lately, I feel a little droop as I realize I’ve got a ‘bachelor’s’ refrigerator, mostly empty but for a healthy supply of condiments and a few staple foods. I almost always have bread and milk and cheese and eggs and tortillas, but the rest of what I keep doesn’t seem much like food. I never let myself run out of pickles or peanut butter or mustard, and there’s always honey and/or preserves, and I’ve recently begun maintaining a constant supply of salsa as well. I’ve been thinking of putting together a jar of mustardayonaisse, or maybe mayostard. I’d really prefer mustmayostardayonaisse, but I simply haven’t got the equipment for that. Despite the poor looks of my refrigerator, my freezer and cupboards are always full. I seem to average about 18 boxes of cereal at a time, plus innumerable cans of various vegetables, plus plenty of tuna, plus plenty of Easy mac, plus … whatever is takign up the rest of my cupboards; they’re always full. I’m by no means out of food. I’ll probably have my choice of pounds and pounds of dry pastas tonight (though I expect I’ll go with thin spaghetti) though I cook pasta less than 6 times a year, it seems. I don’t know. Most every time I start to feel bad about something about my life, it is contradicted by the rest of the information about the same subject. Sure, sometimes my refrigerator looks pretty empty, but I’m not running out of food any time soon, even if I don’t go grocery shopping. Sure I’m not seeing anyone and only have a few friends, basically the same ones I’ve had since HS, but I’ve got plenty of things to fill my days and nights between work and school and my great, long-lasting friends who involve me in social events appropriately, and can find contentment on my own. Sure, I babble on and on sometimes without making any clear points or relating anything beyond the mundane, but hundreds of people still read my inane rabble anyway.