So, I was over at Spark.com taking tests, and on my first pass at their Stress Test, I got the following response:
You exhibit a stress percentage of 16%, which barely registers. Get a job. Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:
consciousness.
Q.E.D.
Let me see if I can do a little better by embelishing and using technicalities, while not altogether lying…
Okay, factoring in things like the emotional impact of stalking someone being about equal to being in a relationship with them, and counting operations of Modern Evil and its hosted sites as a 2nd job, and factoring the fact that there’s literally always someone on a smoke break on the other side of that wall (ie: fire within about 20′ of me at all times), plus embelishing my answers on a lot of other questions (Like “Are your parents divorced?”; sortof. Legally yes, but really they still sleep in the same bed and love each other, so … no. So, this time I said yes, to get a higher stress score.) I get the following results:
Call the doctor! You exhibit a stress percentage of 52%, which is above average for someone your age. Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:
one of your jobs.
that nearby fire.
your significant other.
consciousness.
Q.E.D.
Okay, here’s a sample question from another quiz there. I’m having a heck of a time with it.
Which would you rather be?
– completely and forever lonely
– bleeding to death
Okay, here’s a sample question from another quiz there. I’m having a heck of a time with it.
Which would you rather be?
– completely and forever lonely
– bleeding to death
You exhibit a stress percentage of
12%
which barely registers. Get a job.
Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:
consciousness.
You exhibit a stress percentage of
12%
which barely registers. Get a job.
Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:
consciousness.
You have it easy. You exhibit a stress percentage of 29%
which is well below average. Quite likely, you are lazy and retarded.
Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:
one of your jobs.
that nearby fire.
your youngest child.
consciousness.
Q.E.D.
You have it easy. You exhibit a stress percentage of 29%
which is well below average. Quite likely, you are lazy and retarded.
Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:
one of your jobs.
that nearby fire.
your youngest child.
consciousness.
Q.E.D.