don’t ever mention the tears in your eyes

The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create — so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.

-Pearl S. Buck, novelist, Nobel laureate (1892-1973)

Long since dead

I tend to consider myself long dead, my own life so far gone it’s no longer part of the equation. The metaphor when I was younger was ‘imaginary’ -that I didn’t really exist, but you were just imagining me- but I’ve slipped into somewhat darker territory since then, and the new metaphor is that I’m long since dead. The dead, you see, have no needs of their own. The money, time, expense, energies et cetera spent in the name of the dead are not to serve the needs of the dead, but to serve the living. Coffins, gravestones, funerals and wakes and murder trials and crime scene investigations and embalming — it’s all to serve the needs and desires of the living. The dead would be just as satisfied without these things as with them, but seem content enough to go along with whatever it is the living wish to do with and around them – they bend gracefully, completely, finally to the wishes of those around them. As time passes, the living think less and less about those who have gone before, until finally the long dead are all but forgotten, replaced by … all the details of each persons’ lives, jobs, living loved ones… and then the dead are there for the living when they are needed, and equally there when they are forgotten. Out of sight. Subservient. Just as you need them to be.

Continue reading Long since dead

Strange role models for how to be, how to treat your lovers

“I have been generous up until now, but I can be cruel… Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me and I was frightening. I have reordered time, I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn’t that generous? … Look at what I’m offering you– your dreams. I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.”

What I’m supposed to be doing…

I’m sure there’s things I’m supposed to be doing today. Things that are supposed to get done.

clean the kitchen
\–> run/unload/reload the dishwasher
\–> move the pantry to where the other fridge was

clean the living room
\–> vacuum

\–> think about taking Reggie his boxes

go grocery shopping
\–> milk, cereal, toilet paper, hamburger buns, frozen entrees, ice cream, fresh sourdough, refried beans, tortillas, fresh fruit, meat

go to the Anna Nalick concert in Tempe
\–> my boss gave me 4 free tickets, but I can’t find anyone else who wants to go. I like her music, and I know I have friends who do to, but I can’t get ahold of them or they’re out of town or whatever, and going to a concert alone (or with someone who doesn’t want like the music or doesn’t really want to go) is pretty depressing. So there’s sortof this obligation to go, because my boss could theoretically have given the tickets to someone else… but how big is the difference between wasting 3 tickets because I don’t have any friends (in town – several out of town who I suspect would attend) and wasting 4 tickets because I’m depressed about not having any friends?

do the laundry

clean around my computer

add all my books and CDs to my new library software
\–> put the list of DVDs, all already added, online

work on books, paintings, et cetera… and on and on and everything and ever after… and I should go get started, at least on grocery shopping, I suppose. Got to eat.

I ought to be sleeping, but at least I’m posting, which is what this post is about me not doing – that, and poor hygiene

I haven’t been posting much here lately. It’s basically for the same reasons I haven’t posted much the last couple of years: I haven’t been feeling very well. Not like a passing physical illness, diarrhea or a fever or a cold, not like the head/throat/stomach/body-illness been going around and around (probably just a flu) that I’m pretty sure I got and have been pretty much ignoring. No, an emotional and mental sort of not feeling well that many professionals like to refer to as depression. Some, especially those young women at work who ask me hungrily every day for new and difficult vocabulary words (I’m teaching English as a second language to people whose first language is English), might describe me as lugubrious — though as to why I might be feeling this way, none of them would have a clue.

For reference regarding how bad I’ve been feeling, let me say first that I don’t take as good care of myself and my hygiene when I’m not feeling well as I normally would, which when considering that I don’t normally go above-and-beyond in these areas, leads to what I will say next, by way of explaining how bad I’ve been:

I just took a shower for the first time in 12 days, almost to the hour by coincidence, primarily because the pimples on my body were starting to show up in places that will be visible to others. Which is to say that my bacne had almost reached my hairline. Actually, it’s almost a wide, inverted cross, spreading out across my shoulders and up and down my neck in constellations of blemishes across skin that should have been washed over a week ago. Also of note is that when I showered nearly two weeks ago it was after a nearly-as-long run and that I showered twice that day; once immediately before leaving for a party and once immediately upon arriving home from the party — the first to make a good impression on a new group of acquaintances and the second to get the ice cream and nutella and oatmeal and fruit and whatever else out of my pores and out of … wherever else it had got to during the course of the evening… in a comfortable and familiar environment. Which is to say that if I were not lately making a reasonable effort to force myself into new and interesting social situations, I might be a month or so since my last shower by now.

But hey, at least I floss and brush (or polish) my teeth two or three times a week. You know, rather than once a week or once every two weeks or never. That one’s a fun one, from experience, because of how my mind has learned to interpret my behaviour: I know that the young woman I’ve been flirting with and asking out lately isn’t someone I really care about or even much look forward to getting past the silly flirting with because even though I’ve been flirting with her for weeks and have set up a second date, my oral hygiene has not improved a whit. I have found, in the past, that there is a direct yet unconscious link between suddenly having consistent, high-quality, twice-or-more-daily oral care and my desire and/or belief that I will be kissing someone I care about and/or lust actively for. Otherwise, I mostly just try to keep my breath from smelling like I’ve been eating the sun-rotted remains of things that died explosively from eating too much feces, which is a horrible thing to be coming from someone’s mouth, but something I’ve definitely smelled from more than one person’s face.

Anyway, the second clue, if poor personal hygiene wasn’t sufficient enough of a clue to illuminate how ‘not well’ I’ve been feeling, is the time of this post. I started this post when I had to be awake in only three hours in order to get to work on time, and I’ve been typing for half an hour now. I keep finding myself with a choice between going to bed & getting plenty of sleep and staying up, watching DVDs, playing video games & doing other strange things with my computers… and not choosing sleep. And then paying for it the next day. Tonight is somewhat extreme, I’ll probably take two or three fifteen minute naps (break, half of my lunch, and second break are the times this is okay), drink a couple cups of coffee, and still get a bad headache and wish I hadn’t lost 4 dozen modafinil and/or bought a car (which was the purchase that drove my bills to the point where I can’t afford modafinil at all anymore); often I’m still able to get four or five hours’ sleep.

Sigh. It’s nearly 4AM. I better let my eyes win and shut, or I’ll be slightly more sorry in the morning…