slowly killing myself

I am not like some people, slowly killing myself with cigarettes or some other obvious thing, and I’ve given up on quickly killing myself, though once I learn how to use one and get a loaded gun into my hands, we may rapidly see whether I am bulletproof after all. Rather, I seem to be running myself thin, using myself up faster than was ‘intended’ so that I run out of rope before I reach the end.

Long, continuously-awake weekends is one thing, and certainly helps me use up more of my hours before they are due. This week I seem to be trying something else – using modafinil for something approaching its intended use. I’m taking a dose in the morning when I get up so that I’m not sleepy during the day. I’m not taking a follow-up dose in the middle of the day, because I’ve noticed a quirk about my physiology for now includes (accepting a brief nap in the afternoon) being quite unnaturally and unaidedly awake in the evening and into the night. Staying up late is easy. Getting up early after staying up late is difficult – not so bad with modern psycho-pharmacology on my side.

Actually, getting up isn’t so bad – the same mechanisms that allow me to survive a tiger attack in the middle of the night allow me to wake up and have full access to my faculties without a full night’s sleep – it’s staying up after an hour or two that become difficult. Modafinil seems to have resolved this. In the past, I just zombied through getting ready for and going to work and the first few hours of work – my brain seems to be able to sleep at half-rates while I’m awake enough to be as competent as the average joe – but so far, with the drug, I can wake myself up early, pop a couple pills (modafinil, Vit. C, daily multi-) and go about my day. Before the zombie act kicks in, the modafinil does, and before the modafinil wears off, my brain has done its thing.

This week I’m experimenting with 5 hours of sleep per night. Next week I shall try 4, and if successful I shall see about 3 the following week, and if possible, get myself down to 2 hours sleep a night. That would add nearly two full days to every week, which is over an additional week every month, for only about $36/month worth of Modafinil. A week a month, twelve weeks a year, imagine you could add three months to every year for less than $450. What would you do with the “extra” time?

Anyway, I figure at that rate I’ll use up an extra year of my allotted time on Earth every four years (live four years, live an extra year without even reaching it! five for the price of four!) and maybe reach the end up to 20% sooner. Or maybe, if I pull this trick off, I’ll force myself to live through 20% more life than I otherwise would have.

And is that a good or a bad thing?

I’m beginning to grow weary. I’ve been up nearly 19 hours, now. Time to masturbate and hit the hay. Or just hit the hay. Depression does wonders for reducing libido. So does getting told by every attractive young woman you meet that they’re already spoken for, and seeing all your friends get married and have kids and all your family turn their backs on you or die. Sigh.

i used to be ahead, now i’m behind and i can’t keep up


new breath, black eyes, tiny life,
     (
      best friend
one step
      removed by wife
two steps
      removed by son
infinitely
      separated by a gulf I cannot cross
alone)
a beautiful thing, now peaceful.
Both of us unable to survive
     without
     human touch,
     community,
     love
only I know how to fake it,
so my
slow death
     (sped a step by his arrival)
goes unnoticed
     (as birth is announced broadly)
I am become my own failure:
alone-
      separated from the community
     -because I am
alone.
my dying breath, my black tears, my tiny life.

it’s a one-man show

I think I might feel lonely now.

In fact, that may be the whole trouble of late.

Part of the trouble, part of the reason I haven’t said anything about it, that is, is that … most every root and reason I perceive for my current state is something that I cherish, respect and would not wish to do anything but support. In fact, support I have, as I have been able.

But I feel the final shoe has dropped.

Congratulations, Zoe and Amy.

Perhaps in a few years we’ll see each other again.

Continue reading it’s a one-man show

canning ads

I just purchased a can of Mountain Dew from the vending machine here at work, and there was something … upsetting about it.

It’s not wholly new, but I’ve never seen it this overt before. It’s shocking, and a sign of … disturbing things yet to come.

I had noticed last week when I bought a can of Mountain Dew that the new stretched-out-looking logo takes up only half the circumference of the can, the nutrition information takes up a fourth, and a smaller, top-aligned copy of the same MD logo was on the other 1/4 can. I noticed it because it seemed odd to me that the logo was not simply centered in the space or repeated twice at full size or … something that didn’t make an awkward waste of space, a rectangle below the smaller logo, abour 2″ by 3″ of empty green.

Today, that entire quarter of the circumference of the can is taken up by an ad/coupon for local waterpark admission. $6 off general admission on weekdays per person, one can per person, blah blah blah, and a tiny MD logo in the corner. There are now advertisements on the side of my can of soda for things other than the soda itself. Admittedly, there have been ads on soda cans in the past, but I’ve never seen anything so overt.

Putting a picture of Darth Vader on a can of Soda is significantly different from offering ad space to local businesses. This is just … uncanny.

I recognize this flavour, and it isn’t chocolate ice cream

I logged on to CafePress today to take a peek around.

They’re finally close to ready to roll out the new technology they’ve been developing for the last couple of years for printing vibrant digital images directly onto products instead of via transfers, but they’re “Beta testing” it on Jr. Baby Doll Shirts only. They encourage you to order one to witness the exciting new quality and increased durability. Alas, I have no use for a Jr. Baby Doll Shirt. I don’t even have any friends who could wear one. So I suppose I’ll wait for them to finish the tech and roll it out across the other products, and maybe order something nice for myself.

So anyway, I closed the pop-up telling me that the technology I’ve been waiting for for years is available now on products I don’t really have any designs for, and on the summary page it said they owed me about $25 in earned commissions. Which seemed weird, because I couldn’t remember the last time they’d emailed me to let me know there was a sale, and the last time I logged in, it was like, $6. So I pulled up a “transaction report” to see what I’d sold – maybe they stopped emailing sales or something… No. It says that since the last time they owed me enough money to send a check (minimum $25), back in August of 2003, I’ve made a total of 14 sales to people other than myself totaling $12.10 ($4.02 combined from all designs that don’t imply a request for oral sex) in commissions, and it says that I’ve used a total of $13.06 of “CafeCash” on orders I made myself (that is, I’ve spent more virtual commission money than I personally earned). Oh, and since August 2003 I apparently have earned $25.88 in referrals from other people‘s sales.

Probably mostly Iain’s, as I understand it. Probably residuals from implying that the President has poor enunciation. Either way, I’ve earned more than twice as much from Cafepress rewarding me for people I know being successful than I have from direct personal success.

I’m thinking of going to just a basic store with just books. Right now I’m paying $60 per annum for a “premium” CafePress shop that has earned less than $40 in commissions in the last TWO years. F_ck, maybe I’ll drop the books, too. As you might have guessed had I given you another piece of information (the last non-NeedHead order was placed in September of 2004), the books aren’t exactly flying off the shelves. In fact, if we do not consider orders I placed for my own books at volume discounts so that I can attempt to re-sell them for a profit in person, I have not made a single internet sale of a book since my first book’s First Edition first actually became available for sale on CafePress.

Not one.

Continue reading I recognize this flavour, and it isn’t chocolate ice cream