“How is this so easy for you?” it isn’t.

I believed it all. I
believed everything. I…
I thought she really loved
me, that she would leave
him and end up with me.
I thought I had a chance.
I thought… I actually believed
that yes meant yes and that
actions could be believed…

I feel sick.

I believed everything I said
and I believed everything she
said and I fell for all of it.


This. now. this is wrong.

Am I strong enough to
 do what is wrong?

Be patient. Don’t do anything rash.
   you keep saying that.

Have we done anything rash?
     not that I know if…
 except … well, after she left
 me Saturday, maybe she did.
     but being together wasn’t rash.

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Author, artist, romantic, insomniac, exorcist, creative visionary, lover, and all-around-crazy-person.