must… pay… bills… … must… make… money…

How about … only jobs the level of which I do not need a resume to apply? How about only jobs that do not require me to engage my mind after I learn how to do them? How about only jobs where I am not in charge of the lie of “customer satisfaction”?

I’m good at interviewing. Let’s see how I do in interviews where I make it clear that I have no interest in “climbing the ladder” – that I just want to do one job to the best of my ability (probably better than anyone else they’d have chance to hire) , not to do one job and wish I had another, not to try to take the job of the person who gave me the job in the first place? I’ve got a good work ethic, and when I know what I’m supposed to be doing, and how to do it, it gets done. I’ve got an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, and it translates directly into perfect attendance and ownership of responsibilities assigned to me. Surely I can find work.

If I can avoid “customer service”, it would be a service to my constitution and good health. If it were possible to avoid the trappings of working for a business forced to work in a capitalist environment, that would perhaps be the best. But I’ll take what I can get. How about a company that, when it promises its customers something, delivers on that promise? How about a company that respects its employees – or at the very least is up front about their attitude toward their employees and customers? …if not lying to customers means taking a job where I never talk to customers, I’m okay with taking the job behind the scenes.

I don’t want to compete with degree-holding people for work – they’ve got a piece of paper that proves they’ve been brainwashed to be able to politik and BS and brown-nose, setting useful knowledge and experience by the wayside and using tactics to achieve their goals. The jobs they are after are the ones I am not equipped (and may never be equipped) to do – I want to know what needs to be done, and to do it. When I work, I want to know what my job is, and I want doing that job to be all I need to succeed. I don’t want to kiss the boss’ ass, I don’t want to keep track of office politicks, I don’t want to do other people’s jobs, I just want to do my job the best I can.

I believe there is work out there for me.

But it may mean leaving company after company as it comes down to sacrificing these guidelines. It may mean working hard, being the best at what I do, and being forced out of the company because I don’t want to deal with the things that aren’t my job to do.


Tomorrow I start applying for work, it seems.

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Author, artist, romantic, insomniac, exorcist, creative visionary, lover, and all-around-crazy-person.