weighing on me

So, today I moved several large, solid-core doors so I could move around 50 cabinet doors so I could move things into the shelves behind where the cabinet doors were, and to make space for the 60 gallons of rusty steel bits I moved today. 60 gallons is the best measurement I can give you, since the little metal bits were all in 5-gallon containers. After that there were a few heavy (and a couple of light) trips to the dumpster, and in between a trip to the library (they will simply order the two books I want instead of inter-library-loaning them, adding them to their permanent collection) and two trips to the post office (this is because the first time I went, to get the mail, I was still too tired to realise I also had something to send (I’m sending back that ‘incomplete works’ of Oscar Wilde; they gave me a return code and apologized and everything)), and for some reason I was really tired.

Of course, after being awake for a couple of hours early this morning I discovered I was so tired and sore that I laid down to take a short nap … that lasted about 3 hours. Right now I feel like I did the upper-body part of my Bowflex routine after riding my bike 20 miles. I am so glad my dad is not coming up tomorrow for more hard labor. I don’t know if I could take a full day of it. I am very much looking forward to heading out to San Diego on Sunday to take in the soot and ash-filled ocean air and relax.

Also, since pre-orders for t-shirts are still at Zero, unless Heath or I get pre-orders on or before November 5th, I can stop stressing out about not having all the equipment necessary to start screen printing. For a while. I still want to do it, but … well, you may not realize it, but to put together a complete screen printing setup, even from all used equipment and the best possible deals on consumables (ie: inks, shirts, etc…) is going to cost us over $1000, potentially much more? For good, new equipment it could cost over $15,000. Actually, because of the cost of a production run alone, equipment aside, if we get combined pre-orders for less than 5 shirts, I’m likely to just outsource the job, absorb the red ink on this go, and put off starting the business until next year.

If I seem like I’m not in the best mood right now … I don’t know. Maybe it’s because both of my grandparents are getting worse all the time in their own ways, my grandmother’s mind degrading and my grandfather’s body. Maybe it’s because I ‘watched’ Requiem For A Dream tonight (I wasn’t looking, most of the time, just listening to the director’s commentary). Maybe it’s because of the long conversation I just had with someone about me and my life and some of the reasons that I’m likely to remain single for at least until the end of the world, if not a few years after. They were nothing but supportive, of course. But the facts remain.

Have I mentioned publicly that I’ll be enjoying The Matrix Revolutions at the Harkins Cine Capri (at Scottsdale and the 101) on Wednesday morning at 10:40AM? Yes. That is what I shall be doing. I saw Reloaded on IMAX and I saw Once Upon A Time In Mexico on the Cine Capri screen, and I’m not sure I could discern a difference in size between the size of the projected movie. (For those of you who have never experienced a converted movie on IMAX, there are black bars at the top and bottom of the image, since a standard IMAX screen is not a standard theatrical ratio. The resulting image is just about the same size as the screen at the Cine Capri.) I shall be enjoying the first showing of The Matrix Revolutions on the largest screen in GMPhoenix, for half the cost of the IMAX showing later that day. My father and brother and sister and I shall all be there, and you are welcome to join us. We have, of course, already purchased our tickets, and recommend you follow suit.

My lower back hurts.

I am listening to the special ‘Sorry for myself’ mix I’ve put together in iTunes. It plays only ‘downer’ music and music that mirrors the mood I am currently enjoying.

My feet have been coming apart lately. You know those lines in the skin on your hands and feet? At the ends of your fingers, they’re “fingerprints”, but I don’t have a word for the ones on my toes or the balls of my feet. They’re there, though. Anyway, my feet have been drying out or something up here. It started with just one of those little lines. It broke somehow, and the one line peeled back, very painfully from the center of the ball of my right foot. It did not bleed, but it hurt more than most of the holes ripped into me that do bleed. I put antibiotic on it and a bandaid at the time and hoped for the best. It had gotten worse. And worse. And a few days ago the pain made me examine my feet carefully. Dozens and dozens, literally, of the lines on the ball of my foot and my big toe, and a couple on my heel, have broken away somehow, leaving notches and grooves in the whorls of my “foot print”. My left foot is less severe, with fewer notches on my ball, and only a couple on my big toe. I don’t understand, exactly, why this is happening to me now. I don’t have any moisturizer (I’ll look into getting some when I’m in town; I also need more floss and … something else … kool-aid, sure … but … I don’t know. Something. I’ll remember it.) but I do have some “thigh cream” that came with the epil-stop I ordered years ago. I looked at it then, at its ingredients and effects and determined that it was basically just moisturizer with vitamin E and lanolin. I’ve used it once and again to prevent scarring, to good effect. I have been moisturizing the bottoms of my feet with it twice a day for the last few days. It seems to be helping. The balls of both my feet are nearly healed, and the big toes are showing some progress. I worry about my socks, though. And of course, about the bottoms of my feet mysteriously transmogrifying into thighs. It IS thigh cream.

I’m tired again. I’m going to bed. This is enough for now.

Tomorrow, laundry, more garbage… more working on clearing that table off… maybe a little “dangerous item juggling” (for Iain)… I’d like to get some work done on Betty’s crust if I can… maybe even finish the crust and get working on the actual Betty… I don’t know. Maybe some Mouse.

G’night.