It’s only a week away. Five days. It hasn’t exactly been sneaking up, but somehow I don’t feel ready for it. I remember back towards the end of September or the beginning of October thinking that Christmas was coming, that I needed to figure out how I was going to be getting ready for the holidays. Then everything else happened. So much. So much. I’ve been unemployed, but I haven’t run out of things to do. There’s always so much to do. Not like the busy work teachers have been giving to students forever, but actual things to do. School work until recently, and writing novels on top of that in November, and then when the intensity of final projects for school was over, an intense week of working from waking until sleeping on rebuilding the site, and I’m not quite done yet. Paintings I want to paint, novels I want to write, a job I want to find and get, fixes and changes and upgrades I want to make to the websites, letters I want to write, and on and on and on and oh yeah, normal stuff like dishes to wash, floors to clean and vaccum, laundry to wash and dry and iron, and other not very exciting things. Oh yeah, and somewhere in there I’m supposed to do something about Christmas.
I… I have a plan to pay my rent, but any bills after that look pretty iffy. I think I’m going to go get one Christmas gift today for a friend of mine for under $10 & will likely not spend more on Christmas unless I find my way someplace that sells salted cod. Stopping watching movies, despite what you may think, would not help, since the $40-50 I would save in a month would not pay the $123 and $220 bills I’m worried about being able to pay. (Plus, they help me feel better and be happier, instead of worrying about money all the time.)
I’ve been cleaning up a bit today, for the first time in weeks, and if I get the place clean enough, I may end up getting out my tree. If it gets clean enough, I’ll definitely end up getting a painting or two done. That’s an interesting thing about my lifestyle: I am most comfortable starting creative projects in a clean environment, but my creative processes fairly rapidly create a messy environment.
Something is stalling my writing this. I keep not knowing what to write next, getting up and cleaning a little more, coming back. I think I’ll just post what I have and if I think of something else to say, I can always come back.