Gluttony and Finch

I am easily swayed by food. Like, even when I’m not hungry OR bored, or even being advertised to intentionally, the idea of food gets into my head and is immediately attached to desire. Easily accepted desire in most cases. It occurred to me that it might be easier for me in quite a few ways to just grow fat into the clothes I already have. I wouldn’t have to think about what I eat or about buying new clothes, and after a while, I wouldn’t have to worry about feeling like I’m swimming in the clothes I do have.

I was reading someone’s webjournal this morning… or maybe it was a forum post… the context is unimportant and forgettable. Someone said something like “break me off a piece of that…” and all of a sudden, moments after eating a filling (almost sickening) Sausage McMuffin with Egg, I felt like eating a Kit-Kat. I almost got up that very moment to see if there were any in the vending machine. Sure, you can say that that was a result of latent marketing. That all the Kit-Kat ads I’ve seen over the years were effective because they increased my brand recognition and the mere mention of their popular slogan not only reminded me of their product, but influenced me to desire it. That may be true, but what I’m commenting on is my pliability to such suggestions. After lunch, I did in fact go to the vending machine, and seeing that there were no Kit-Kat bars, purchased a Twix, which I deemed the most likely choice to assuage my desire. Yum.

Last night I was watching Murder In Small Town X, and although I had not eaten supper, I was not hungry. At one point, during a meeting between the players, there were cups and wrappers visible that I recognized as being from Taco Bell, and although the words “Taco Bell” were not visible, seeing people eating what I knew was Taco Bell made me want to eat Taco bell. It is a kind of weird feeling to not be hungry and want to eat at the same time. Especially while I want to lose wight at the same time. I mentioned that I wanted to eat Taco Bell as a result of seeing it to the person I was with, and we did eventually end up going, hours later, when I finally got hungry.

See, the cravings don’t seem to just fade away; they stick with me for hours or days until I take care of them. These aren’t the crazed cravings of someone with a real deficiency, these are just mild, frequent reminders that I want to eat a certain thing. Which is nice, because then I can usually subdue them until a reasonable time comes along that I can consume those calories without it being overeating. Like the Taco Bell. I have found that a very important thing in not gaining weight (and losing weight, as well) is to stop eating when you get full, and try to avoid eating when you aren’t hungry. Balancing that against getting plenty of food and numerous meals provides a challenge, but I think that is where weight loss comes from. If you plan on eating 5 times in a day, and also only eat when and while you’re hungry, you can’t eat five big meals. You can’t even eat three big meals. There simply isn’t room.

Of course, there’s plenty of room in my clothes, so … I COULD go ahead and eat again. And again and again and again and again and again. Maybe I’ll even feel better afterwards.

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Author, artist, romantic, insomniac, exorcist, creative visionary, lover, and all-around-crazy-person.