More than just dancing

I was out late, up late, last night. I didn’t roll into bed until 4, and I didn’t roll into sleep until after 5:30, if my trying-to-get-to-sleep-at-the-time memory serves me correctly. I woke up at first this morning at 10:30 and then lay in bed until 11:30. I’ve always liked taking an extra hour or so to just lounge about in bed before the day starts. I really makes things feel okay. Starting the day off slowly seems to help remind me that there is no real reason to hurry through life. No reason to “Save Time”; time is for spending.

Did I tell you I’ve basically finished my home hunting? That little house I wanted to rent, the one that was right in the neighborhood I originally wanted, the one that was $125 less/month then the next cheapest rental in even the extended area I was looking in, through some amount of finagling, will be mine. Because my work hours do not allow me to meet with the rental company offering it, I had to do some things out of order to get an application to them before anyone else’s and get it paid for as well. I have yet to meet anyone related to the house, though I have spoken to several of them over the phone. Regardless, within 24hrs of the time the first person was officially allowed to see the interior of the house, 6 applications (in addition to mine) were submitted. Mine was the first, and the first processed as a result, and (because I have “great credit”) it was approved first and I get the house. Hooray!

So, although before I applied, they told me it would be available before the beginning of June, they are now saying that some “repairs” need to be done, and it won’t be available for another couple of weeks. That’s fine with me, I still have to pay for this place through the end of July (though I must be out by July 31st), and I’m in no hurry to pay more than I have to. Also, I assume the “repairs” they’re talking about are the installation of all appropriate monitoring equipment for the entertainment product I am a part of. I have not yet spoken to the property manager or owner, but they are supposed to call me next week with more information about when it will be ready for me, and to set up an appointment for me to come give them a bunch of secured funds, and I will discuss the matter of the insufficient electricity at that time.

I realize that it is unprecedented in a rental property, but if I can get the electricity upgraded, I can see myself living in this house for many years, and it would certainly be worth the expense if I had to pay for part or all of the cost of getting an electrician to come out and at least add grounding to the outlets, and maybe wire the laundry room for 220v. For my dryer, you understand. I will also discuss with them the possibility of (immediately or eventually) purchasing the home from the owner, at which point upgrading the electricity would fall on my pockets anyway. Of course, if I find that this piece of property is far above my current price range, it will have to be eventually, so I can save a down payment to cover the difference.

According to Quicken, I am currently $11,430.25 in debt between the balances on all of my accounts (including Joel’s Discover Card, of course, which has the highest outstanding debt of all of my accounts). This seems relatively reasonable, I suppose. If I can pay that amount off in the next year, I can save the same amount in the following year, and then I have the beginning of a nice down payment on a home, and Zero debt, which comes in handy when you’re trying to get a big loan. That, and the evidence of having faithfully paid off all that debt consistently. That is what gives someone “great” credit.

I think I’ll go … do something. I don’t know. I should go down to ReZurrection and take a look at the new art. I probably should have gone down there last night instead of sleeping. Did I mention that I slept last night from 7 to 10? Just lay down and passed out and woke up again 3 hours later with no prompting. I then proceeded to immediately get a phone call from Jen and we got together and hung out until the wee hours of the morning. Like, I woke up to be awake when she called. Regardless, I did not make it to the opening last night at ReZurrection. Perhaps next month.

Seeing other people’s art sometimes helps encourage me to get back to work on my own. I need to buy some paper for drawing on, so I can work on the Diablo comics I’ve got stuck in my head. I found recently that I basically don’t have any plain white paper for drawing on. Maybe some printer paper, but… That is so unwieldy. Anyway, perhaps if I have the right paper, drawing will be easier. Perhaps if I have the right pencils and paper, drawing will be easier.

I’m supposed to get together with Julia and go out dancing tonight. Wear my Need Head shirt again. I don’t know if I’m going to drink or not. I’ve come to a point where someone I care about has questioned the value of that aspect of my clubbing behavior. I do not let other people control my life or make my decisions for me, but when someone close or important to me indicates that something I’m doing hurts or disappoints them, I will certainly take it into consideration again. Review the activity, keeping in mind all benefits and costs (including the newfound cost of its effect on this other person) and decide again whether or not I should be doing it. Drinking socially. I don’t know yet. I’m thinking about it. I’m trying to decide.

Then again, I get the feeling that the whole “going out dancing” thing is about to fall by the wayside. I’m not sure I know what I’m getting out of it, or what I expected to get out of it, or what I want to get out of it, and therefore, I have no way of knowing whether it is fulfilling its intended purpose. I have no way of knowing whether I should go dancing one night and not another. I think I like it, but … what is the point? Julie is fun to be with, certainly, and this is her social activity of choice, it seems, but she spends most of her time trying to pick up guys. To what end, I do not know. I guess I do the same thing; I spend most of my time trying to pick up girls (to what end, I do not know).

I tried picking up on Tami while I was out dancing, and that seemed to go okay until she stopped returning my phone calls. I think that that is the most successful attempt so far, since we actually had a couple of worthwhile conversations after the night we met, and even got together a second time. Then it sort of … stopped. Anyway, what did I want from a relationship with her anyway? What did she want from me that I wasn’t offering her? How will I ever know?

Maybe if I was more interested in casual sex and less interested in worthwhile relationships with interesting people, I wouldn’t even question clubbing. I would know what I was after and (most likely) have no trouble getting it. I certainly don’t expect to meet the love of my life at a club. Maybe that’s part of the problem; I can’t be what I don’t expect to find, and no one knows what to make of me. What is it that other people go for? It seems to me to be more than just dancing. I don’t know if I’ll ever know.