Teel McClanahan

Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with emotion. After so many years of working out how to go on and keep living even while I’m experiencing strong or overwhelming emotions because that was what I had to do or go back to no emotions at all, I sometimes don’t even understand what overwhelming means. Like, I was riding around today looking for a place to live, and I found a couple of blocks where most of the houses are the same sort of house that looks like it was designed in the late fifties or early sixties maybe and the whole feel of this design and this neighborhood is something I just love, and there just aren’t enough for sale or for rent signs up right now. Hopefully after June 1st I will have more options.

So anyway, I was riding along pretty slow like, and a certain smell came to me and I was just … someplace else … a warm wave just washed over me and my bike even started to lose its concentration and I was looking around to try to figure out what I was smelling, and I think it may have been a tree, but it might have been something else growing around there, because I couldn’t bring myself to stop and I just kept thinking to myself as I tried to keep looking around for the source and keep my balance and not stop, because there is not a single for sale or for rent sign on this particular block at all, “What is that? It smells like Home. I feel like I’m finally Home.”

Continue reading An infinite number of crickets

Perhaps even before I was exposed to the idea of the monolith in 2001, the movie or the book, I do not know which I saw or read first, I have liked the idea of the plain, dark, monolith. I was just thinking about that, because I was sitting in my darkened living room and I looked over my shoulder and the shape of a plain, dark, smooth, monolith was hovering just behind me. It is my coffee table. It occurred to me that I have chosen quite a bit of my furniture based on this idea.

The coffee table and end table in my living room are simply crafted, smooth and straight and basically just a single dark rectangle floating a couple of feet off the ground. My dining room table is even less ornate than my living room furniture, if such a thing is possible. There is at least a sort of angle to the legs of the coffee table. The dining room table is all perpendicular lines. A smooth, flat, dark rectangle suspended above the ground on four straight, smooth, square legs. Nothing ornate or decorative. Not even a visible woodgrain.

My entertainment center has a little more detail to it, in that you can see the components that it is designed to contain, but it is yet another simple, dark rectangle with right angles. This one even looms vertically above the room as you would expect a proper monolith to do. My bed is huge and black and basically composed of two thick monoliths floating in opposition to each other. I even have plain, dark-colored sheets, turning the mattress and foundation into yet another monolith floating suspended between the other two.

In sharp contrast is my other furniture, my couches. Not flat or hard or dark, they are draped in the softest denim, overstuffed with the softest padding, and a pleasant blue hue. In further contrast to the plain, dark, simple shapes that define my furniture, is my wardrobe. I wear brightly colored clothes. Still in solids and simple designs, but soft, pleasant fabrics and bright colors. Do I choose to surround myself with monoliths to contrast with my own personal flair, or is it just easier? I don’t have to try to match a particular type and shade of wood. I don’t have to match a particular style of ornamentation, or try to match colors and patterns. Bright soft solids or plain dark monoliths. My own personal style.