I think I might feel lonely now.
In fact, that may be the whole trouble of late.
Part of the trouble, part of the reason I haven’t said anything about it, that is, is that … most every root and reason I perceive for my current state is something that I cherish, respect and would not wish to do anything but support. In fact, support I have, as I have been able.
But I feel the final shoe has dropped.
Congratulations, Zoe and Amy.
Perhaps in a few years we’ll see each other again.
I just purchased a can of Mountain Dew from the vending machine here at work, and there was something … upsetting about it.
It’s not wholly new, but I’ve never seen it this overt before. It’s shocking, and a sign of … disturbing things yet to come.
I had noticed last week when I bought a can of Mountain Dew that the new stretched-out-looking logo takes up only half the circumference of the can, the nutrition information takes up a fourth, and a smaller, top-aligned copy of the same MD logo was on the other 1/4 can. I noticed it because it seemed odd to me that the logo was not simply centered in the space or repeated twice at full size or … something that didn’t make an awkward waste of space, a rectangle below the smaller logo, abour 2″ by 3″ of empty green.
Today, that entire quarter of the circumference of the can is taken up by an ad/coupon for local waterpark admission. $6 off general admission on weekdays per person, one can per person, blah blah blah, and a tiny MD logo in the corner. There are now advertisements on the side of my can of soda for things other than the soda itself. Admittedly, there have been ads on soda cans in the past, but I’ve never seen anything so overt.
Putting a picture of Darth Vader on a can of Soda is significantly different from offering ad space to local businesses. This is just … uncanny.
I logged on to CafePress today to take a peek around.
They’re finally close to ready to roll out the new technology they’ve been developing for the last couple of years for printing vibrant digital images directly onto products instead of via transfers, but they’re “Beta testing” it on Jr. Baby Doll Shirts only. They encourage you to order one to witness the exciting new quality and increased durability. Alas, I have no use for a Jr. Baby Doll Shirt. I don’t even have any friends who could wear one. So I suppose I’ll wait for them to finish the tech and roll it out across the other products, and maybe order something nice for myself.
So anyway, I closed the pop-up telling me that the technology I’ve been waiting for for years is available now on products I don’t really have any designs for, and on the summary page it said they owed me about $25 in earned commissions. Which seemed weird, because I couldn’t remember the last time they’d emailed me to let me know there was a sale, and the last time I logged in, it was like, $6. So I pulled up a “transaction report” to see what I’d sold – maybe they stopped emailing sales or something… No. It says that since the last time they owed me enough money to send a check (minimum $25), back in August of 2003, I’ve made a total of 14 sales to people other than myself totaling $12.10 ($4.02 combined from all designs that don’t imply a request for oral sex) in commissions, and it says that I’ve used a total of $13.06 of “CafeCash” on orders I made myself (that is, I’ve spent more virtual commission money than I personally earned). Oh, and since August 2003 I apparently have earned $25.88 in referrals from other people‘s sales.
Probably mostly Iain’s, as I understand it. Probably residuals from implying that the President has poor enunciation. Either way, I’ve earned more than twice as much from Cafepress rewarding me for people I know being successful than I have from direct personal success.
I’m thinking of going to just a basic store with just books. Right now I’m paying $60 per annum for a “premium” CafePress shop that has earned less than $40 in commissions in the last TWO years. F_ck, maybe I’ll drop the books, too. As you might have guessed had I given you another piece of information (the last non-NeedHead order was placed in September of 2004), the books aren’t exactly flying off the shelves. In fact, if we do not consider orders I placed for my own books at volume discounts so that I can attempt to re-sell them for a profit in person, I have not made a single internet sale of a book since my first book’s First Edition first actually became available for sale on CafePress.
Not one.
Continue reading I recognize this flavour, and it isn’t chocolate ice cream
I’m adding Happy Accidents to the list of movies that make me cry every single time I watch it, no matter what, and if you’ve seen it, it’s obvious, and if you haven’t, you should.
I had never gotten to see it, for years and years, and then I netflix’d it a couple of months ago and knew I needed to own it, and happy day, they had it used at Zia on Friday night and I bought it. I just watched it, and my eyes are still wet and I kinda want to watch it again.
But I think I’ll put something else in for now. Maybe something that will make me laugh instead of cry. The internet tells me that laughter can cause a release of Beta endorphins, which can reduce pain. Maybe if the movie is funny enough I can work on screwing up GWB’s head some more.
And no, I’m not going to church this week, and I didn’t go last week, and I know I’m just writing this sentence to try to guilt-trip myself into going, but I don’t feel like it right now, so I’m not going. That doesn’t make me a bad Christian, it just means I’m not feeling well right now.
The simple version I gave on discussion earlier tonight regarding my progress and pain on and from my GWB piece (to remind you, I am at a stage where I take a very small screwdriver and drive thousands of very small screws into a relatively very large piece of wood):
I haven’t been working a little bit on putting screws in, say, 25 every night all week which would make steady progress without tearing up my hands, because I’ve been depressed and unable to get anything done.
I spent the last two days (off and on, but day and night) working on driving hundreds of screws and tearing up my hands (imagine blisters on blisters under the not-quite-yet-healed blisters from last weekend) because I am depressed.