making of ‘self portrait re: 2007’

More of pictures showing, less of words describing:

self portrait re: 2007 - process step 1 self portrait re: 2007 - process step 2

After painting the black lines on ‘1, 2, 3, 4, ‘ I found that I had taken out about 99.99% more black paint out than I’d needed (above, left), so I tried to think of something to do with it.  I found that I also had a canvas in my room which I’d started another project on, years earlier, which had been halted with a canvas roughly 1/3 covered in black (above, right).

self portrait re: 2007 - process step 3

So I took a 1″ brush and painted on the black paint, covering the remainder of the canvas.  Since the black that had been on the canvas was in long, even, straight strokes, I tried to contrast, texturally, with short, curved, messy strokes – and to overlap the two somewhat.

self portrait re: 2007 - process step 4

The next step, days later, was  to draw on the partially obscured face with a black Sharpie.  The painting is black on black on black, so in normal room lighting it appears to be a blank, black canvas from many angles.  In bright lighting and from certain angles, the actual features are visible.  The image above has been adjusted in Photoshop to bring out the face and the textures and variations in the black.  The image below is a lot closer to the actual appearance of the piece, though angles and lighting make a big difference and if possible I recommend seeing it in person to really “see” it.

The finished painting, known as ‘self portrait re: 2007’ is now available for purchase at wretchedcreature.com. Due to a close relationship between the two works, this painting comes with a copy of Worth 1k — Volume 2, the poetry journal I wrote in 2007.  (Please visit Modern Evil Press for details on the book, and to see a preview of it.)

self portrait re: 2007 - finished

making of ‘U$’

First, I’m still trying to make a final decision on the title. Not, as I have struggled with for other paintings, because I have no idea what a good title would be. Instead, because there are so many possibly good titles for this piece.  So, because it made naming files easier, I’m referring to it as ‘U$‘ right now, but I’m considering a lot of fun things, such as ‘capital G‘, ‘one nation under…‘, ‘religious symbol‘, ‘idol worship‘, et cetera.  Feel free to chime in with suggestions.

So, here’s where this one came from.  After spending the morning writing this post and thinking about money for weeks and days and hours, it was time to try to sketch some ideas for a new painting.  What I ended up sketching was the dollar signs you see in the image on the left, below.  I’ve been taught, somewhere along the line, that the $ symbol had originally been based on an uppercase ‘U’ and an uppercase ‘S’ overlapping, and had relaxed over time to an S with two vertical lines through it and nowadays often only a single vertical line.  Since I often associate the idea of the “American Way” with no-holds-barred capitalism, corporatism, and since I personally consider money itself an evil I would prefer not to have to touch, you can see that between these thoughts it was less than half a page of sketches before I got to the symbol I ended up with, including the composition of the final work.

After sketching the concept with a pencil, it did not take long for me to decide that the background / foundation upon which this symbol belongs is the “grey area” that allows corporate f_cks to think it’s okay to ruin people’s lives and the world in the name of “market forces,” “profit,” et cetera.  I got out my black and my white and I made sure to emphasize the darkness of the grey, and to give the background a feeling of murkiness.  I don’t personally believe in “grey” in the way other people do – but putting it on a black background would have been both boring and extreme.  While the grey paint was drying, I got to work in Photoshop, creating a mock-up of the symbol.  This is a sort of continued sketch, for me.  I can play around with the details, refine the image, the colors, the composition.  The image you see below on the right, which I used to make stencils for creating the actual painting by hand, took me over four hours of computer work.

U$ - process step 1 U$ - process step 2

U$ - process step 3I then proceeded to work for two or three hours without remembering to take any photos of the intermediary steps.  No photos of the printouts of the outlines of the individual color areas, no photos of the canvas covered in tape, no photos of the printouts taped to the tape, no photos of the faint pencil line on the tape, no photos of the shape carefully cut out of the tape with the X-Acto knife (or the tiny place where my brand new, very sharp blade went through the whole thing instead of just the time), no photos of the green painted onto the tape, and no photos in the midst of peeling the tape off while the green paint was still wet.  The photo at right was taken in the first moment after the nearly eight hour haze of continuous work which enveloped my mind from starting the sketch to getting the “green S with feet” (as I was calling it) finished first evaporated.  Sorry I forgot to take more photos.

That took all night to dry.

The next afternoon I remembered to take more photos.  So first we have the canvas covered in blue tape, with the pencil lines quite evident, and then … well, I painted on the blue for the flag and the red for the flag and the horns and was getting carried away in a haze again and was already pulling up the tape from the midst of the wet paint before I remembered to take another shot.  The canvas is upside down, here, because I was peeling the tape away from the top half of the painting, and flipping the photo looked weird because of the angle.

U$ - process step 4 U$ - process step 5

U$ - process step 6And at right is what it looked like when I’d finished peeling the tape.  Looking good.  Dozens of paintings developing my stenciling technique over the last few years has made this whole process relatively easy for me.  I mean, I went to bed in terrible pain two nights in a row from the hard work of painting this piece, but -especially for the red, white, and blue- I had very crisp edges with very little leakage, vibrant colors with interesting variation & visual texture.  I found the result very satisfying.  There was not a perfect registration between one color’s edge and another, since the whole thing is done by hand, but that would all be covered over by the outlining I had planned for the piece.

I worked on another piece next, with the red and blue paint I had left over from this one, and after about seven hours’ drying, judged that the paint was dry enough to do the next bit.  You can see the next layer of tape (each pass in sequence covers less area, uses less tape, requires more time to draw and cut out more detail) applied, below, with the carefully hand-drawn stars and stripes traced on at left and ever-more-carefully cut out and peeled away at right.  I assure you, the whole thing was painstaking.

U$ - process step 7 U$ - process step 8

U$ - process step 9Finally, I painted on pure titanium white paint, careful with my brush strokes to try to keep from doing anything that would “leak” or otherwise cause problems.  Peeling off the tape at this step was the most difficult, because of all the tiny details of the stars.  About half an hour to lift a roughly eight-inch square of tape.  But it turned out quite well, I thought.  A few details that only a perfectionist such as myself could be disappointed by, which the camera doesn’t even pick up, but otherwise quite nice.  I let it dry overnight again.

The next day, after spending an hour and a half trying to find a silver DecoColor paint pen, I put the finishing touches on the piece, outlining the “green S with feet” in silver and tying the flag and horns together by outlining them both in the same black line.

So that’s the basics of making this painting; a lot of photos and not a lot of new process, since I was using a lot of old techniques to execute a fresh idea. The painting currently, perhaps temporarily, known as ‘U$’ is now available for purchase at wretchedcreature.com

U$ - finished

Press, Release. Marketing, Products.

Haven’t decided whether I’ll be verbose or brief on this subject, here, today.  Have to look back and see, I guess.

Conversation threads this morning on Twitter (which I can’t retrieve, on account of Twitter is “stressing out” – and I don’t feel like trying to track everything down with tweetscan/summize), included one creator saying they were thinking of planning on releasing a project they’re working on … in September or October.  To which my mind replied: “I don’t understand.  If you have a releasable product, why not put it out there as soon as it’s ready? For a finished product, why wait?”

Now, I can see how with certain products – say, a dancing Santa Claus doll or a new line of Valentine’s Day candies – releasing at a particular time of year might be appropriate.  And I can see how products which will only be relevant for a limited time should be released in a specific time period – though that’s now, not later – to avoid irrelevance.

I can even see where something like a blockbuster movie, trying to maximize attention and profits would want to schedule its release to not be the same weekend as a directly competing release, which would not only compete for viewers dollars but for the actual, finite number of screens, but — and this is a big but — I can’t see why a studio would hold off on releasing a movie for months or, as actually happens more often than you’d think, years after it was ready to be shown.  The finite number of screens is (I believe) now well over 30,000 in the US alone, and even the widest of releases hasn’t topped 1/3 of those – there’s a LOT of screens, if you have a movie ready to go, put it out there!   If you don’t think it’ll make “enough” money in theatres, throw it to DVD – as long as you keep it in print, it’ll be available to whoever wants it.  As long as it’s sitting “in the can”, unreleased, it’s not making anyone any money, it’s not entertaining anyone, it’s not communicating anything, it’s wasted.

Which, I think, is part of my problem with the whole thing:  Someone, possibly a lot of someones, put their hard work and creative energy and ideas into creating something, and that work, that creation, is being held back, hidden, kept from its audience. Continue reading Press, Release. Marketing, Products.

A Difference in Motivation

I have been “self employed” for a couple of months now, and have been “networking” with and connecting to more and more independent people who are doing the same sorts of things; authors, authors doing their own audiobooks, bloggers, artists, illustrators, graphic designers, photographers… et cetera.  As I have spoken to them, I have noticed that there seems to be a difference between their ways of thinking and mine, about success and about what they are trying to accomplish.  Even the independent creators who -at first- seem to be the most successful and accomplished and appear to have a lot of fans and plenty of “true fans”… and presumedly sales to go along with them …seem actually to want more traditional forms of success.  Authors are trying for, hoping for, dreaming of getting a deal with a “real” publisher.  Podcasters seem to want to have radio or TV shows.  Bloggers want to get hired by a company and get a salary for blogging.  I haven’t managed to network with enough artists to figure out what they want, but it’s not hard to guess that it’s in the same neighborhood.  These creatives, these independent creatives, the ones using “social media” and “web 2.0” and advanced technologies connected via the internet, print on demand, RSS distribution, CC licenses, crowdsourcing, et cetera…  Creatives who own their IP and connect directly with their fan base in a meaningful way – which I know for a fact cuts out a long line of middle men and increases the creator’s share of every sale substantially – seem to want to “sell out” as it were, or “hit the big time” as has been defined for the last 50+ years.

But that’s not what I want.  I’m not doing what I’m doing in an attempt to get a job doing something else.  I’m not doing what I’m doing because I want to get noticed by a big publisher, an internet startup, or some faceless corporate entity.  I’m doing what I’m doing because this is what I want to be doing.

I want to create art.  I want to write stories.  I want to record my stories, in my own voice.  I want to explore new distribution techniques (podcasting audiobooks, publishing books with some features of a wiki, creating an internet video channel of a poet reading their own poetry, et cetera), new ways of sharing, using and re-using ideas (all my novels and audiobooks are available under a CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 license),  and new ways of connecting with an audience of interested people and of fans (twitter, blogging, facebook/mySpace, and platforms yet to come).  I want people to be able to enjoy what I create.

I hate money, conceptually.  It would be my preference to not have to deal with the foul stuff at all.  I have no desire to accumulate wealth.  Yet I must eat, and the grocery store doesn’t seem to accept stories and art in trade for food.  So:  I want to publish my books myself, not just because it gives me complete control and complete freedom with the finished product, but because as the publisher and the major retailer (via modernevil.com), I get those portions of the revenue (70%+ vs. 8%-12%).  I want to show my art on my own terms, sell directly through my website to the people who want it, talk to the people who are interested in it directly, and -yes- take the full retail price for myself, not just out of greed, but so that -as I’m starting out and building a name- I can set my retail prices lower (and hopefully make more sales), and still make a reasonable amount of money.  —  If I get a deal with a publisher, I still have to do most of the marketing (a fact that most authors learn too late; that except for the top few books, most publishers do little to market the books they print) for the book I wrote myself, but I only get a small percentage of the retail price of each copy sold (the retailer takes half or more, the distributor takes some, the publisher takes a chunk, and the author gets the leftovers).  If I get my art shown in a gallery in Phoenix, and hand-deliver it, the gallery takes half and I get the other half, but if I get shown in galleries out of state or -ohmygosh- in a big gallery in New York or internationally, then the gallery takes their half AND I get to pay (at least part of) shipping costs for getting everything there and -for everything that doesn’t sell- back again.

Advanced technologies, internet connections, and other modern wonders make these things possible.  One person, from anywhere, can run a business doing most anything.  They can have books professionally printed and distributed, and can do so with less overall environmental impact and for lower upfront costs than “big” publishers by using the bizarrely looked down upon technology of print on demand instead of giant offset print runs coupled with later pulping of unsold copies.  They can connect with more people, in more meaningful ways, anywhere in the world – far more than a traditional author signing tour or art festival circuit allows – and they can do it every day, all year, even while doing those more traditional marketing things.  This is the future, people.  Creators whose hard work pays them directly, and gets the IP into the hands of the fans directly, using technology.  It’s either this or a total collapse of civilization and a return to pre-oil lifestyles, and then the sell-outs lose, too.

Why does it seem like I’m the only one who not only sees that this is the future, but actually wants to make it a reality now?  I’m not doing what I’m doing because I want to be doing something else – this is what I want to do, and it’s possible now, and I’m doing it!  I may not be the best at marketing, but at least I’m getting every dollar of pitiful sales that I earn instead of a few cents of each dollar my weak marketing can pull in.  At least I’m trying to be both feet in the future instead of one foot in the future and both eyes on the model of success that is rapidly becoming past.  I’m going to get to work on another painting (write-up soon; it’s nearly complete).  That’s enough blogging for now, I think.

Dragons’ Truth Audiobook options

Dragons’ Truth, which has been available in paperback ($12.99) for several years, is now also available as an audiobook in two physical versions.  I made the little video above (less than 90 seconds – you have 90 seconds, right?) to show them to you, inside and out.  Dragons’ Truth is a 4hr, 24min audio program, read in its entirety by myself, the author.  The entire audio content of the book is available, under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike license, to remix, re-use, mash up and re-purpose (please email me if you do, and I’ll link to it).  The two versions are:

The entire book on 1 MP3 CD for $12.99:

  • A single CD-R disc
  • Individual files for each chapter
  • Premium Jewelbox
  • Two-page insert with CC license info.

The audiobook as a 4-disc audio CD set for $24.99:

  • Four CD-R discs with matching labels
  • Individual tracks for each chapter
  • Blue multi-disc wallet
  • Two-sided insert with CC license info.

Please visit http://modernevil.com/ for more info, or to order Dragons’ Truth in any of the available formats.