Author: Teel

I’m a little sad.

Why is that?

I had this great opportunity, and I let it slip away from me. Now, I can’t even know whether it would have been good or bad, lasting or ephemeral, beautiful or painful, because I was too young, too immature, too inexperienced to know what I had to do. Too proud and too self-righteous and not enough caring and forgiving and living my life instead of getting upset about things outside of my control. I suppose I’m getting a little upset about things outside of my control now though, aren’t I?

Continue reading What happened Saturday

So, early last week while I was off work I came down with a headcold. It has mostly gone away and now I just have a little congestion and light coughing, but I think its just moved into my throat which has been experiencing on-and-off-but-increasing pain. Anyway, a few days ago I was trying to blow my nose and the pressure … I don’t know … it clogged my left ear, I guess. Now I have that feeling that I need to “pop” my ear, like from a change in air pressure, but … even in the rare instance that I can successfully “pop” it open, it closes back up again pretty quickly. While it is “closed”, I can still hear, but mostly just internal sounds. like, my own talking is amplified in the left side of my head, and I know what my chewing sounds like, and … I can ignore most of that.

What’s getting to me is the blood. I can hear the blood pumping through my ear. Blood makes noise. It’s not incredibly loud, but it’s always there, off to the side. About as loud as if you had your head pressed to someone’s chest, I think. Except, it’s my own heartbeat, and it’s coming from my ear.

I am not what sleep enough. My head all groggy from the not enough sleep and the getting up early and I’m sure that riding to work in the cold hasn’t helped much, though maybe all the extra pain from my left knee has helped make me more awake than I otherwise would have been. My left knee seems to get a lot of wear and tear that I’m not aware of at the time; it seems that way anyhow, because I keep waking up with a sore knee and no idea what injured it. Maybe that’s what I’m doing instead of sleeping at night; injuring my knee.

Wait, no. Last night I was reading until 12:30 in the morning. And … I think my knee already hurt by then. . .

So, I’m here at work, taking tech support calls, and I came across a 5 minute IQ test on the web. I was in the middle of one support call when I started, and finished it and got another call before the 5 minute timer went off, so I didn’t get to finish the test. Just as an example of how distracting and mentally cripling talking to appraisers is, I only scored 113, answering about 2/3 of the questions before the test cut me off. I’m going to see if I can convince the site to let me take it again when I’m not being interrupted in the middle by people who can’t even figure out how to save a file attachment without giving it an unusable filename. Maybe I’ll even get to finish the test.