Teel – Page 17 – Teel McClanahan

Things are going well, it seems, re: Never Let the Right One Go.

Things are going pretty well, it seems. I didn’t get as much First-Reader feedback on Never Let the Right One Go as I’d been hoping for, though I got as much as my past experience led me to expect, and after another couple passes I think the text is about as good as I know how to make it. I did a full read through of both books at the end of the week, making small changes as I went, and was very happy with how each story unfolds – even when read simultaneously, alternating chapters between the two books. I was pleasingly entertained, after a month of worrying whether the books were good enough.

I’ve heard back from one of the two photographers whose images I wanted to use on the covers, and barring an unexpected problem with getting a model release signed, have permission to use their image. I’ve begun working on the full-resolution image for the dust jacket, with it. I haven’t mentioned it here before, but I also recently found some music I wanted to use for the intro/outro of the audiobook versions (I normally compose something myself, but have been having difficulty coming up with anything I liked for this project), and this morning I heard back from the composer with permission to use it. All I’m waiting on now is permission from the other photographer (or to locate another acceptable photo for Sophia, which I can get license for) and the rest is good to go. I’ve been spending a fair proportion of my worry over the last month on the matter of getting permission from other creators, and it’s nice to have this (mostly) resolved.

The Kickstarter campaign for Never Let the Right One Go is only at about 20% with less than five days left, and unless there’s a surge of interest in the next few days (I don’t really know how to create one) it looks like it won’t be funded. This is okay, as I’ve said before: I can afford to do a limited-edition print run (probably 50 hardcovers, though I’m now considering an even smaller run) without funding, and without my business going into the red for the year. Being funded would be better, and knowing I had more than half a dozen potential buyers up front would be nice, but I’ll find the readers for these books eventually. Sadly, without funding (or more art sales) I won’t be able to afford to buy the font I want for the text. Oh, well.

I expect to begin recording the audiobook versions either this week or the next, and to send the “Beta” or “ARC” (Advance Reader Copy) version of the texts out to Beta Readers and reviewers as soon as I’m done working on the audiobook. Depending on how my voice and ears hold out, possibly by the end of the month. I still seem to be on track for getting everything together for a mid-May eBook release and hardcover availability, and I’m thinking of making the official release date 5/12/2012. (Though I probably won’t have the hardcovers in hand (and almost certainly not signed, numbered, and ready to ship) at that point.) I haven’t set down a release schedule for the audiobooks, yet, but probably I’ll be releasing one chapter of each book once a week, with (say) a chapter of Sophia on Monday and a chapter of Emily on Friday (with a couple poems from Unspecified, which I haven’t podcast yet) on Wednesdays. That would stretch it out to just over 26 weeks, not being complete until late November. I’ll have to check their policies in May, but Podiobooks.com has said they want to move to only accepting “complete” audiobooks, which would mean neither book would be available there until the end of November. Meh. If people want the whole thing sooner, they can come to modernevil.com and/or pay for it.

I think that’s it for status updates. Things aren’t as good as they could be, but they’re going pretty well. Getting more feedback, hearing from the other photographer, finding another 30 backers, these things would be nice – but I’ve gotten some good feedback, I’ve heard from some of the creatives I want to integrate the work of into mine, and I’ll be able to afford to publish something very close to the premium edition of the books I’ve been imagining. Plus: I’m aiming for finishing (if not publishing) another 3-4 books (or more) this year, and I don’t feel I’m over-reaching. There’s a good chance they’ll all be digital-only.

Thinking several moves ahead

Formulaic writing is the mind-killer.
Formula is the little-death that brings creative obliteration.
I will face the monomyth.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the hero’s journey has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

I’m working on several things at once. That’s a good thing. Both so that, when I finish one thing I’ve always got another thing queued up to be working on, and also so that, if I get bored/frustrated/blocked on one thing, I can simply switch projects and work on something else. Here are just a few of the things I’m working on right now, or will begin working on soon:

running a Kickstarter campaign for Never Let the Right One Go
developing a book trailer for Never Let the Right One Go
editing Never Let the Right One Go based on First-Reader feedback
making a decision about the cover(s) for Never Let the Right One Go
recording the audio books for Never Let the Right One Go
composing the theme music for the NLtROG audio books & trailer
writing a book about my experiences writing & publishing
studying the hero’s journey & other formulas for YA adventure books
planning the re-write for Dragons’ Truth, as a formulaic YA adventure
planning two additional books, to make Dragons’ Truth part of a trilogy

I already compromised some to get Never Let the Right One Go as potentially-commercial as possible, but for the Dragons’ Truth re-write, I want to go just-about all the way. I’ve purchased Joseph Campbell’s book, I’ve been looking up other resources, and I have plans to formalize the structure, down to a fine grain, of the Dragons’ Truth re-write based on the patterns of commercial fiction, and of YA adventure books in particular. In reality, this will not merely be an edited version of Dragons’ Truth, or a simple re-write, but a completely new work, barely derivative of the original. With any luck, I’ll be able to power through the whole process and have at least the first book (if not two or three) written by the end of this year.

Then, almost undoubtedly, I’ll want to write something completely lacking in plot, conflict, character growth, and antagonists. Something extremely cerebral, deeply layered, and which is not nearly what it appears to be. No idea what that will be, yet, but that seems like the sort of rebound my mind will take. Either that or I’ll go straight into the crime/thriller/action TV miniseries I’ve been planning on writing, since it’ll require me to think formulaically, but will also be a bizarrely-philosophical construction. Have to see how I feel & what I’m thinking by the time I get through the Dragons’ Truth business.

(Yes, to a certain extent, the interactive digital comic I was planning on has disappeared from my schedule. Depending on events out of my control which may occur in the next few weeks, it’ll either reappear in my plans or remain indefinitely postponed.)

Anyway, part of the plan is to absorb and digest the formulaic writing, focus it intensely onto the Dragons’ Truth re-write, and then move beyond it, pushing it out of my conscious mind. I expect the process to be painful. I never want to be the sort of author who consciously constructs their prose based on things like “what will sell” and “what normal readers expect”, and for this upcoming project, that is (in a way) precisely what I plan on doing. My intent is not in alignment with the apparent goals of such a process, which helps, and challenging even my own norms and ideals seems worthwhile if I can learn something from it, just as I tend to hope to do when challenging any other set of norms and ideals.

Ah, well, now it’s time to go record another video for Never Let the Right One Go, or something. Wish me luck!

Never Let the Right One Go – Kickstarter is live

The Kickstarter fundraiser for Never Let the Right One Go is now live and accepting pledges/backing/pre-orders. As I think I’ve covered (if not here, then on Google+), the initial art sales from my “Blank Canvas” Art Sale have been sufficient to cover the cost of printing a 50-copy hardcover print run of the flipbook containing both full books without putting my small business in the red this year. (I’m still looking to move the rest of my art; I’ve added an art+book reward tier to the fundraiser, and I’ll still gladly take any other reasonable offer. Email me!) This means that the pressure is off; if I don’t hit my $1k goal in the next 16 days, that’s okay – the book will still be published, and even the premium paper version of it will be created, regardless of the outcome of the fundraiser. No fear of emotional breakdowns, terrible stress, or feeling like my failure to make money represents a fundamental failure in the nature of my work and the quality of my creations. Well… maybe a little of that last one, considering all the compromises I’ve made to make these books more commercial…

Anyway, the point of the fundraiser is primarily an expression of optimism. I think these books have a chance of being very popular; my most popular and commercially successful books yet. I think there’s a chance that many more than 50 people will want to buy the premium paper version of the books. By putting this out there now, in this way, I can see before I finalize the size of the limited edition what size it ought to be. If there are a hundred, or several hundred, or several thousand people who want to buy the paper books but I only print 50, that’s a problem. If there are only a handful of people who want the books right away and I print 50, that’s no problem; I can find the extra copies’ readers later. (This is so much easier with eBooks – there are always exactly as many copies available as there are readers who want them.)

I’ve set the goal higher than my past Kickstarters for a few reasons, the biggest of which is that meeting this goal would mean Never Let the Right One Go is my first release to have paid for itself from book sales alone. (Well, barring art sales being high and book sales being low, which is an odd possibility.) The thousand dollars covers the printing cost of 50 copies, plus shipping, and maybe part of the cost of Mrs. Eaves (though I don’t feel bad about paying for that from the art-sale profits if I need to), but any less fails to. It’s a bigger expense because it’s a bigger/thicker book (two titles in one) than most of my past releases, and because it’s hardcover instead of softcover/paperback. I also have a general impression that Kickstarter fundraisers with goals larger than I’ve set before have a better overall response; like, if the goal is too small, potential backers maybe think you don’t actually need their support. Like, “What? $400? I spent that on shoes this weekend! If they don’t reach the goal, I’m sure they’ll be fine. $400 is nothing!” sigh. Except, it isn’t. Not to me.

I’m rambling a bit, I guess. Not sure what I meant to be posting about here, beyond the first sentence. Please take a look at the Kickstarter page, watch the video, tell your friends about it … back it, if you’ve any interest in the stories and can afford to. I’m sure I’ll post about this again, possibly more coherently.

seeing blessings in pain, in good times and bad

I’ve been going through a pretty rough period, lately. Wild mood swings, extremes of emotion; fear and anxiety, doubt and depression, passion and drive, optimism and six shades of pessimism leading to the verge of self-defeating behavior. I’ve been stressing out about little things, big things, things well beyond my ability to control. I’ve even gotten into a couple of pointless arguments with people (on the internet, not in person) along the way. I reached, and passed, a mental point of no longer being able to stand staring at my old artwork, and I’ve already sold about a third of it off at prices lower than I’ve had to go in about a decade. I’ve finished the first drafts of two books, and I’ve already managed to spend more hours working toward marketing the books than the raw hours spent writing those drafts.

It’s all been quite mixed and complicated. Quite a bit of good, and a lot of misery and stress and depression, and quite a lot accomplished. I’ve been going through all this (and more, and worse, and better) for months, and in the last few days I’ve realized explicitly that I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The intensity of emotion I’ve had over as relatively simple a matter as trying to get in touch with a couple of photographers or otherwise navigate the legal complications of using someone else’s photography on my books’ covers is indicative of how much I care about what I’m doing. How much I care about the work I’m doing. How passionate I am about my creations. I care so much it hurts. I care so much I’m willing to hurt myself in the process of getting it done right. Even at the worst of the worst of these sometimes quite bad times, I’ve never really doubted that I’m living the life I’m supposed to be. Sometimes I doubt my skills, my talents, and frequently I doubt the quality of my output, but I don’t doubt what I’m doing; if I’m ever to reach the level of skill and quality required, it’s only by continuing the work. By living through the struggles, and coming out stronger on the other side.

I don’t get bored of my work, not really. Even when I’m doing desperately repetitive things, things which a year ago would have made me sick to consider for even a few minutes, there’s no boredom. This week I’ve read about a thousand (no, literally, a thousand – every title across ten Amazon top 100 lists) book descriptions/blurbs, to try to learn by immersion the structure and style of effective book descriptions, especially in the categories Never Let the Right One Go will be listed in. The very thought of such a study (with no mention of its scope) would have made me physically nauseous a year or two ago. (Writing my own book descriptions has always been a painful and difficult struggle, usually with corresponding ill feelings.) The premise of going through a thousand books has bored several people in my vicinity who only heard of the project, didn’t attempt it. Having set myself to the task, and believing fully in the value of it to the success of my current project, I found the whole exercise quite stimulating, and only mildly nauseating.

…The point is, my life -even my depression- is a joy. I have a wife who loves me, and who I love, and we enjoy each other’s company and bring happiness to one another. We have our basic needs met, and we’re making significant progress toward being debt-free, which will give us a lot more freedom than the significant freedoms we already enjoy. I’m free to follow the creative spirit God gave me, to build with my mind and my hands and my heart the things which flow from that boundless wellspring. Importantly, I’m not forced to make myself a slave for the sake of money: Even though I’m hoping and working toward making Never Let the Right One Go my most commercially successful books to date, I’m not doing any of this in pursuit of money. I expect to exceed a thousand hours of work put into creating this duology before I’m done with the First Edition in paper, electronic, and audio formats, and every hour has paid for itself already by being an hour spent creating something I care about. Creating something I hope other people will find as worthwhile as I do.

For as long as I’m able to go on following my heart and my dreams, my imagination and my inspiration, all these apparent “rough times” will be not only worth it, but part of what makes life worth living.

looking for Beta Readers

This is me getting a little ahead of myself, but I want to start looking for Beta Readers for my new books. I’ve only received feedback from about 1/4 of my First Readers, and I haven’t begun working on the rewriting, yet, but the time for Beta Reading is coming up soon: I’ll want people who can make time to read two short books (about 130k words total) in the second half of March, 2012 (or the first half of April at the latest), with an eye toward finding all the small errors. Typos. Incorrect word use. Confusing sentence structure. I’ll be doing my best to catch errors before sending the texts out to Beta Readers, but there are always more errors to locate. If you would be willing to help, please contact me.

In addition, I’m looking for people willing to review the books. Beta Readers are included. The Beta version of the book will be 99% of the way to the published edition, and suitable for reviewing. I’ll be able to deliver the eBook to reviewers in/after the same time period (mid-March to mid-April), with expected publication in May, 2012. Realistically, I’m aiming for a May Day (5/1/2012) publication date. (That’s when I figured I’d need to have the book ready to send to my printer to have the hard copies at hand in time for Phoenix Comicon.) I’ll encourage all my Beta Readers to write reviews, too, but the more reviews the better. If you would be willing to review the books, please contact me.

What are the books about? Here are the blurbs and covers I’ve got, so far:

Before she met Nicholas, Emily believed the vampires had her best interests in mind. Now she stands by his side in the fight for what’s right, while waging her own campaign in the fight for his heart. Emily follows Nicholas from the woods of Vermont to the White House and home again, putting her life and her blood on the line for a cause almost as important to her as the love she feels for him. (Cover image adapted from a photograph by Danila Panfilov.)

Sophia’s conservative Christian parents have kept her isolated from the outside world for the last ten years. Is it any wonder she wants to move out the very night she turns 18, then falls in love with Joshua, the first young man she sees? Complicating Sophia’s quest for love are her body, frozen at age 7 when she was turned into a vampire, and her faith in God, making her passions feel like sins. (Cover image adapted from a photograph by Jesse Millan.)

Sound interesting? If you want to be a Beta Reader or reviewer, please contact me. Comment, email, call, text, tweet, facebook, G+, USMail, whatever you prefer. Only digital copies will be available for this pass, but I can make the books available in most eBook formats (ePub, mobi/kindle, PDF, etc). I look forward to hearing from you.