How’s it going to end?
So, I’m watching the Truman Show. Some of you know that since years before this movie was made I have said that I suspect that I am part of a big conspiracy very much like the one described in the Truman Show. I like the idea of it. It helps make some of the things that happen in my life, the way the world works, make a little more sense. If there’s some writer or director or huge production staff out there making decisions about who I’m allowed to spend my time with and where I’m allowed to go, then any difficulties I’ve had … finding a place to live or finding the girl I loved and lost … are related to someone else’s decisions or production difficulties.
So I found a home I really like, but when I call about it, the person who’s supposed to be representing it didn’t even know it was available. She’s never even been inside it. And I’m not supposed to be able to go inside it until they have time to install the cameras and sound equipment and whatever else they need to do for a walkthrough. I broke in about a couple days after I had called to try to set something up, and it felt like there had been someone living there just hours before I arrived. The representatives I spoke to on the phone before I even considered trying to peek in the windows indicated that it had been vacant since the middle of the month. I suspect that unless they are somehow capturing images from my eyes, whoever is producing an entertainment product based on my life just showed the exterior of the house while I was inside it that first day.
Hopefully they’ll let me take it. Hopefully they’ll get the whole place set up for the season or eight I spend living by myself in a cute little home in downtown Tempe. I even went through the house a second time and described to whoever exactly how I would layout the furniture in the rooms, so they would know how to set up the shots. I do things like that a lot.
When I’m sitting around at home, I consider the audience. When I’m in a public place I think about where the camera must be, and I turn to face them, to provide them a good shot. When I’m lounging naked in my bed, I usually strike a pose like what I would expect to see a professional photographer create, twisted a little with a sheet wrapped just so.
Maybe Amanda is like the woman Truman was trying to find in Fiji. He could not find her because the production crew decided that she was a danger to their ongoing production. Directory assistance couldn’t help him, not just because she didn’t go to Fiji, but because they were just more of the production staff. Maybe the same is true for me. Maybe Amanda was a danger to the production and maybe Sara accepted a role with another production company. We’re all pretty certain that Iain is part of a “spinoff” production, or that the audience just didn’t have a positive enough response to his character.
Things like last night just help back up this sort of theory. If this were the real world, random strangers I run into wouldn’t be people I’d known for years, and people like Tami would return my calls. I didn’t mention it, but my going to Rocky last night was foreshadowed both Friday and Saturday. Like, they wanted to let the audience know that there was going to be a special “Rocky Horror” episode of the show last night. I noticed and thought to myself “I wonder how they’ll pull that off. I certainly won’t be intentionally going to Rocky.” Yet, through inaction, I ended up there.
I have been thoroughly distracted, and about to start the next DVD. Looks like Tapeheads.
Oh, and Steve just called again for the third time today (Okay, one of them was this morning before I got home). He insisted that he wasn’t gay, but he just invited me over to his place again. He wants to make me a pizza from scratch. I don’t know if I should help him come out of the closet or not. What do you think?