[Note: As of June, 2005, I had located Amanda again]
I tried to find Amanda again. Just another search with 800-US-SEARCH. This time an “Exhaustive Super Search” into which I put the only address I have been able to confirm she lived at since I lost her, here in the valley. The last time I ran a search for her, 6 months ago or more, I did a “Simple Search” and was rewarded with two old addresses in Oregon and a mis-spelled address that was the address in town that when I added an “n” in just the right place I found a place she had actually been. I had to ride my bike across town to verify that the re-spelled location was correct, but it was. The resident at the time seemed all too glad that she and her brother were gone and didn’t seem to care where they might have gone. So, I waited another 6 months before trying again.
I was rewarded, for my “Exhaustive Super Search” which promised to give me information such as:
– Current and Previous Addresses Going Back 10 Years
– Phone Numbers (Listed)
– Possible Aliases
– Relatives, Roommates, Family Members, Spouses at same address
– Possible Neighbors
– Deceased Search (Name, Date of Birth, Date Deceased)
– Bankruptcies, Civil Judgments (Lawsuits), Tax Liens
– Real Property Value (Assessment)
– Expert Specialists Analyze and Run Your Search to Get You the Best Possible Results
– An Easy to Read E-mail Report within 24 Hours
with the same exact three addresses I got 6 months ago. I guess she hasn’t reported any other addresses to … anyone … in the last 6 months (though it was indicated to me that she had been gone at least that long by the resident at her last confirmed address). Also, there are no phone numbers for these addresses, no possible aliases, no relatives, roommates, family members, or spouses that lived with her (though I clearly know this is not true; some of the people she was living with in town are still there), and she’s never had any neighbors. Luckily, she’s not dead yet, bankrupt, or in trouble with the law. She doesn’t seem to own a home, either. Expert Specialists my ass.
If the fields had been available on the search info form, I could have given them 100% of the results they gave me, since I already had them. For less money. 6 months ago. (Heck, I don’t have the email around anymore, but I think the search I ran last summer (I do this about once every six months since 1997 and until I locate her) may have given me the two addresses in Oregon (that don’t seem to have anyone at them right now. At least not anyone who responds to hand-written snail mail. Gha!) So I gave them a call and talked to a customer service agent who was glad to assist me with my search and actually led me along pretty effectively, giving me a list of about 2 dozen addresses.
These addresses are of people with the same or similar name/age as Amanda, or who have the same or similar name/age to her brother/mother in Arizona and Oregon. Also, people with the name Amanda with her birthday who have lived in AZ or OR recently. (Did you know that there are at least two people with the name Amanda R. King, born on the same day, who lived in or near Eugene, OR in 1996 and 1997? I did, long ago. I spoke to one. Not the one I wanted to, but hey.) Amandas with different last names, and Sandras with different last names who are old enough to be Amanda’s mother who lived in the same places as Amanda. Now all I have to do is compose a letter to send to each address (none of them has a valid listed phone number) and hope that maybe I can get a response.
Maybe I should include SASE’s this time. Maybe cash will convince people to respond. The last time I sent out letters to addresses that MAY have been her, I included my physical address, email address and two phone numbers and a fax number to reach me at, but did not get one response. Nor did I get one “Return[ed] to Sender”. So, they arrived, but nothing was done with them. Oh well. I’ll keep trying. What else can I do? This has gone on too long to give up without some sort of resolution.
Heck, I think I’ve spent far more on her since the last time I ever saw her than I did before that. And as long as I can’t find her (or her death certificate), I think I’ll keep spending my time and money and emotion on trying to locate her. At this point I have no idea what I’d do with her if I did find her, but I’m sure I’ll think of something.
I feel left out of the loop. I know nothing about Amanda, how long you knew her, why you lost contact with her and why you are searching for her. I have never been able to find any of the people that I was searching for either, and while I didn’t really spend money on it, I understand your frustration.
I feel left out of the loop. I know nothing about Amanda, how long you knew her, why you lost contact with her and why you are searching for her. I have never been able to find any of the people that I was searching for either, and while I didn’t really spend money on it, I understand your frustration.
I met Amanda at a GT back in … 1996. We fell swiftly and deeply in love with one another. Shortly thereafter, she moved to a small town in Oregon; her mother has a heart condition and the climate there was supposed to be better for it than the climate here. We corresponded via mail and sometimes the telephone, though we were both young and broke so the long distance charges were not something we could really afford too much of.
Between August of ’96 when she moved to Oregon and November of ’96 when we broke off the engagement, I sent her over 200 or 250 pages of letters. I told her about everything that was going on and everything I was feeling and about who I was and who I wanted to be and … every letter had something sentimental and sweet and endearing (often poetry) and every letter had something erotic as well. I wanted to present her through the means I had available as many aspects of a normal relationship as possible. If it weren’t for me being briefly unfaithful (I kissed another girl) and brutally honest (I told her how it made me feel), we may not have broken up.
That was a very painful lesson. My thick skull has had trouble nailing down the concept of not cheating, and I’ve put other people through a lot of hardship they didn’t deserve trying to figure it out (I truly regret my actions, Sara. I know that years have passed, but that doesn’t change the way I behaved and I’m sorry.)
It was as a result of my impending (believed) marriage that I began to look for a job for the first time. The very day that I got my first job, I went home that night and Amanda broke up with me over the phone, having received my letter. I knew that the only reason I even applied for a job was for her and that that was over, but I went to work anyway. I was in a daze, and during the course of our relationship, Amanda and I had begun to make plans. In the summer of ’97 after she graduated HS & after her birthday, we would wed and move to Tempe to continue our schooling. Even after I lost her, I didn’t have the heart to make new plans, and I found myself moving to Tempe in the summer of ’97. The challenge of moving and getting set up in a new place almost distracted me from the date that we had chosen for the wedding coming and going. Until recently, I have not even tried to make other plans. Not big ones, anyway. I floundered as each part of the plans Amanda and I had made ran out of steam because she wasn’t there to keep making new plans with me. I let myself become unfocused.
Back to the loss of contact with Amanda: As you may be aware, I tend to remain friends with my ex’es, and Amanda was no exception. Certainly the breaking up had been hard, but we stayed in contact occassionally. In June of ’97 we seemed on good enough terms and I flew up to Oregon and spent a week with Amanda. It did not go as well as I think anyone involved had hoped (mostly because I had some bad attitudes about what I thought it was okay for other people to do and not do, and I wasn’t a very effective communicator when it came down to it.) We did part on (I thought) reasonable terms and the last day I saw her was the day I flew out. And the last day I heard her voice was the last day I saw her.
I called her to let her know that I had made it home safely. (I came home to a different bedroom than the one I left, by the way; I’m certain you’ve read my rambling on that subject, though.) When I called her again, probably about a week later, the number was disconnected. I sent a letter and it came back saying that the address was vacant (I guess they hadn’t any forwarding address when my letter got there). I have never spoken to her since, but there was not any indication when I was there that they were going to disappear from the face of the earth, so it still bugs me. Like I said, I only look for her about every six months. Sometimes I just use the internet and long distance directory assistance to try to locate her, and sometimes I use services like 800-US-SEARCH. In the four years since she disappeared from my life, I have only found one definite trace that she still exists.
It gives me hope. I know she did not die mysteriously years ago. I know she was living in Scottsdale some time in 2000. Maybe some day I’ll find her and be able to ask her where she’s been all this time. I know I still love her, but I believe that at this point I want to find her mostly because I can’t. This is like one of the puzzles in a Myst game, but I can’t seem to solve this one. I feel like I must be overlooking something obvious. Maybe she’s right under my nose.
I met Amanda at a GT back in … 1996. We fell swiftly and deeply in love with one another. Shortly thereafter, she moved to a small town in Oregon; her mother has a heart condition and the climate there was supposed to be better for it than the climate here. We corresponded via mail and sometimes the telephone, though we were both young and broke so the long distance charges were not something we could really afford too much of.
Between August of ’96 when she moved to Oregon and November of ’96 when we broke off the engagement, I sent her over 200 or 250 pages of letters. I told her about everything that was going on and everything I was feeling and about who I was and who I wanted to be and … every letter had something sentimental and sweet and endearing (often poetry) and every letter had something erotic as well. I wanted to present her through the means I had available as many aspects of a normal relationship as possible. If it weren’t for me being briefly unfaithful (I kissed another girl) and brutally honest (I told her how it made me feel), we may not have broken up.
That was a very painful lesson. My thick skull has had trouble nailing down the concept of not cheating, and I’ve put other people through a lot of hardship they didn’t deserve trying to figure it out (I truly regret my actions, Sara. I know that years have passed, but that doesn’t change the way I behaved and I’m sorry.)
It was as a result of my impending (believed) marriage that I began to look for a job for the first time. The very day that I got my first job, I went home that night and Amanda broke up with me over the phone, having received my letter. I knew that the only reason I even applied for a job was for her and that that was over, but I went to work anyway. I was in a daze, and during the course of our relationship, Amanda and I had begun to make plans. In the summer of ’97 after she graduated HS & after her birthday, we would wed and move to Tempe to continue our schooling. Even after I lost her, I didn’t have the heart to make new plans, and I found myself moving to Tempe in the summer of ’97. The challenge of moving and getting set up in a new place almost distracted me from the date that we had chosen for the wedding coming and going. Until recently, I have not even tried to make other plans. Not big ones, anyway. I floundered as each part of the plans Amanda and I had made ran out of steam because she wasn’t there to keep making new plans with me. I let myself become unfocused.
Back to the loss of contact with Amanda: As you may be aware, I tend to remain friends with my ex’es, and Amanda was no exception. Certainly the breaking up had been hard, but we stayed in contact occassionally. In June of ’97 we seemed on good enough terms and I flew up to Oregon and spent a week with Amanda. It did not go as well as I think anyone involved had hoped (mostly because I had some bad attitudes about what I thought it was okay for other people to do and not do, and I wasn’t a very effective communicator when it came down to it.) We did part on (I thought) reasonable terms and the last day I saw her was the day I flew out. And the last day I heard her voice was the last day I saw her.
I called her to let her know that I had made it home safely. (I came home to a different bedroom than the one I left, by the way; I’m certain you’ve read my rambling on that subject, though.) When I called her again, probably about a week later, the number was disconnected. I sent a letter and it came back saying that the address was vacant (I guess they hadn’t any forwarding address when my letter got there). I have never spoken to her since, but there was not any indication when I was there that they were going to disappear from the face of the earth, so it still bugs me. Like I said, I only look for her about every six months. Sometimes I just use the internet and long distance directory assistance to try to locate her, and sometimes I use services like 800-US-SEARCH. In the four years since she disappeared from my life, I have only found one definite trace that she still exists.
It gives me hope. I know she did not die mysteriously years ago. I know she was living in Scottsdale some time in 2000. Maybe some day I’ll find her and be able to ask her where she’s been all this time. I know I still love her, but I believe that at this point I want to find her mostly because I can’t. This is like one of the puzzles in a Myst game, but I can’t seem to solve this one. I feel like I must be overlooking something obvious. Maybe she’s right under my nose.
As you retell the story I do remember hearing about her a little. Not her the person, but her the story, or situation. Good luck. I really hope that you can find her and find some resolution.
As you retell the story I do remember hearing about her a little. Not her the person, but her the story, or situation. Good luck. I really hope that you can find her and find some resolution.