[post transcribed from a paper journal]
Words. With words, when I want to, I can affect people; make them think and do things. With words, sometimes when I don’t want to, I can affect people; make them think and do things even when I’m not trying to. I do not like making people I care about do things they don’t want to do. I do not like that the people I care about (who care about me, too) will be affected even when I do not say something, will do and say things that they think I want them to say and do, regardless of how they feel about these things. I do not like the idea that the people who care about me (who I care about, too) change the ways they think and feel just because of the ways that I act and the things that I say, even though sometimes I am not aware that they are, and sometimes they interpret me wrong, and sometimes (worst of all) they go against their own intentions to do what they feel I would like them to do.