Category: nonsense

[post transcribed from a paper journal]

I just checked; I have been mentioning here about my reality problems… I don’t know anymore exactly what I’ve been doing – it keeps changing. So today everyone’s talking about this OJ Simpson trial, and until around 6 in the evening Monday night, I had no idea that he was on trial, or what for. Now, all of a sudden, I’m glad that the media gets so excitable over celebrities; otherwise, I would not be able to discuss this case like I haven’t been living in another universe. The re-capping of the trial was seemingly useless, but now I see that without having watched it, I would have little to no idea what everyone was talking about.

Worse yet is that yesterday morning, OJ was guilty, and there were more riots in LA; by afternoon, sometime when I wasn’t watching TV (* I do a lot of that, the not watching *), OJ was innocent, and LA was cheering. Not having read the news this morning, I will assume that he was found not guilty until I see otherwise. Everyone’s saying their opinions about what they thought the verdict would be – I didn’t even know about the trial until two days ago, so I do not feel either way. I’m not sure I would care anyway – no one that I know was killed or on trial…

[post transcribed from a paper journal]

The universe, as it appears to me, is becoming less and less stable as I go along from one day to the next. As I stated before, I’m used to a few things randomly changing without anyone’s notice but mine, but they used to be only minor things, and only dealing with bits of the universe that weren’t bits of me. Well, although Friday was a pretty calm day, with only a hundred or two things jumping out of place, disappearing, or changing their nature, Saturday made up for it. Before Saturday, for as long as I can remember, Karl Marx had been a great leader in Europe. His ideas, essays, and speeches had swayed the ways that the common man thought, and there had been a revolution. Marxism was adopted greatfully by most of western Europe, and rejected by the backwards nation of Russia. There was never a conflict (such as this Cold War I have been reading about) between Democracy and Marxism, even though America was firmly Democratic up until the shift on Saturday. Now, I have had to deal with a major shift in history and politics, as well as a change in my personal physiology that I do not want to discuss, and I am worried that if this continues, I will not be able to keep up.

[post transcribed from a paper journal]

Reality seems to be shifting erratically about me without any rhyme or reason at a much higher rate than usual. Normally, I can expect one real thing to become completely unreal, or one non-existant, unreal thing to suddenly exist and be accepted as normal w/o any transition every few days or so. Lately, it’s been as much as two or three hundred things every day, which is quite unsettling. It’s not even big things that are changing, only the small details; the organization of furniture, a change in a person’s beliefs, carpet colors, or maybe the size/shape of a tree. So many small things spontaneously changing, that is, always having been the way they suddenly are for everyone but me, has left me feeling totally unanchored.