Teel – Page 355 – Teel McClanahan

House-Hunting

I desperately want to avoid a duplex/6-plex/8-plex/condo/apartment/. I want a . In Tempe. I don’t need a lot of space. I just need one room to be no smaller than 10’x10′ (for my bed) and W/D hookups. You know. Walls, a roof. A little space between where I live and where my neighbors live. Heat in the winter, cooling in the summer. Running hot and cold water. Electricity. Adequate lighting and ventilation. Indoor plumbing including proper removal of human waste.

The more I think about my minimum requirements, the longer the list gets, but .. looking back at the list, there’s not much there that isn’t considered … standard? Minimum? I don’t need a pool or a big yard or a lot of rooms or more than one bathroom or some big fancy kitchen with a walk-in oven or whatever. Just … you know … someplace to keep my stuff. Someplace to return to at the end of the day. Someplace to leave when I feel like I need to go out; so I can know when I’m out.

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Lost my appetite

About ten minutes ago, I was very hungry. It was one minute until my lunch break was supposed to start, and there were calls in the queue, and I almost didn’t take one, because I really wanted to eat something. I’m too responsible for that. I took the call, gave the guy his answer, and logged it in around 90 seconds. I couldn’t get my peanut butter sambwich into my mouth fast enough.

I took a few bites of my sambwich, trying to pace myself with pretzels and sips of Crystal Light Rasberry Iced Tea beverage, when my phone started singing to me from my pocket. I couldn’t swallow in time, so I answered as clearly as I could, and finished chewing and swallowing while the caller outlined the reason for their call. They didn’t even need to say it, though; as soon as I figured out who was talking to me, I knew what they had to say.

They called to let me know that I’m not as important or meaningful as they are, and that I don’t deserve to see a person that I love on their birthday.

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I’m working on it.

Marie, if you can see this, it means I’m working on getting this site up again soon.

Don’t despair.

I haven’t decided whether or not to put your content back up anywhere though. Same old complaint about not enough volume, I suppose.

Not that I’m setting a good example, but … It’s about to be a lot easier for everyone to submit content.

I just have to … learn how to code in perl.

3.4.8.-2

I’ve stripped the blankets off my bed and I’ve stripped the clothes off my back. I’ve opened the window to let the cool air in, but I can’t seem to find music that sounds sad enough and I still feel like there’s a layer of heat stuck between me and the air in my room. I was feeling fine earlier. I was as good as I expected to be and there was no reason to expect anything but the best. I’m trying to figure out what the difference is. What crawled across my flesh and into my head and made me feel like hope is hopeless and brought these tears to my eyes only to tell me that crying won’t solve anything? What sight or sound or memory flitted across my perception and showered me with this sense that something is dreadfully wrong; that there is no direction to run in that will not take me into the arms of the very thing I was running away from?

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4.3.8.-2

I have been conflicted about writing here again. The last thing I wrote spawned quite a lot of exaggerated emotions and intolerant attitudes from people in the forums. I am always happy to see more activity in the forums, new people visiting the site, reading the comics and essays and poetry that we have here, enjoying the creative works of our little community. At the same time, I am not one to intentionally cause pain and hardship for people, and if writing here is going to cause people such intense discomfort, perhaps I should not write at all. Then again, if people are going to have such a strong reaction to something, maybe they should stay away from it. Just because some people have a very strong reaction to habenero peppers doesn’t mean that they should stop being grown and made available to the public. So, I write.

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